About Our Guest:
Krystal Jakosky is a teacher and writer based in Colorado helping people “own their shit” and take ownership of their own lives. Krystal teaches online and in-person classes, meets with clients in individual sessions, and hosts “Breathe In, Breathe Out: a Weekly Mindfulness and Meditation Podcast.”
Welcome to Chasing Happiness Podcast where we’re all about helping you find happiness.
Today we have special guest Krystal Jakosky. Krystal is a teacher and writer based in Colorado, helping people “own their shit” and take ownership of their own lives. Krystal teaches online and in-person classes, meets with clients in individual sessions, and hosts “Breathe In, Breathe Out: a Weekly Mindfulness and Meditation Podcast.”
In this episode, you’ll learn how to be more present by taking ownership of your life. You’ll also learn to be more mindful—which has been proven to help people live happier lives.
If you’re ready to start making changes in your life that will lead to more happiness, joy, and peace, then tune into this episode!
Looking to Share Your Story? Be a Guest on the Show
Podcast Transcript
Take Ownership of Your Life & Own Your Shit with Krystal Jakosky
[00:00:00] Ryan: Hey guys, Ryan DeMent from Chasing Happiness Podcast I hope you guys are having a great day this week on the podcast. We have Krystal Jakosky and Krystal is a teacher and writer in Colorado that are helping people do what own their shit guys, own their shit. She wants you to take ownership of your life and be able to get yourself in a better place.
[00:00:25] Ryan: And boy, do we have some rabbit holes to go down Krystal, welcome into the show.
[00:00:30] Ryan: Thank you so much. I am excited and delighted to be here.
[00:00:33] Ryan: I love your saying. And when we had our precall, I immediately connected to it. So before we get into your journey, tell the listeners a little bit about yourself and then we’ll go down some rabbit holes.
[00:00:43] Ryan:
[00:00:43] Ryan: Fabulous, So I’m a. Oh, I’m a wife. I’m a mother, I’m a grandmother. I was raised in a very religious home where religion defined every choice and decision that we made, which meant that I needed to follow that path that was put before me. And at some point I was very questionable. I was like, I’m not so sure that this is where I wanna be.
[00:01:05] Krystal: And through life experiences and learning that my shit, I was contributing to some of my own problems and the challenges that were placed before me. I I decided to change and I left a rough relationship. My husband and I, we got a divorce and I found theater and I found self worth and the world just opened up to me and it was not through, it was hard.
[00:01:31] Krystal: One. It was through a talk doc. It was through lots of counseling, lots of learning, lots of new teachers. And. Now I’m in this wonderful space where I get to help other people do the same thing. Let’s own our shit. Let’s find our own true worth. Let’s expand. Let’s give ourselves some compassion with everything we’ve been through and then let’s project that forward to everyone around us so that we can have a better life and make the world a better that’s in a nutshell.
[00:02:03] Ryan: So let’s talk about you growing up in a really religious home. How did that kind of shape you in who you are today in, in, in your journeys? Like from the day you, you could remember it was very religious or did you have to grow into it? How did the household, how did your household work?
[00:02:30] Ryan: Oh, you’re back high. Sorry. Did you hear my question?
[00:02:35] Krystal: Froze for a minute there. And you were asking me about how religion really shaped who I am and how I move forward in life. Yes. And the answer to that is, is, and I don’t think it’s just religion that does this to us. I think society does it as well that men or role and women have a role, and this is how you’re supposed to live.
[00:02:55] Krystal: And this is what’s expected of you in mind. Women were very much a they were in the home, they were responsible for the spirituality and keeping the house the way that it was. We were responsible for giving service to everybody around us and helping to uplift others. The man was supposed to bring in the money and be the overarching patriarchal leadership of the.
[00:03:20] Krystal: And you had to walk the line. You had to make sure that you were towing it. Exactly. I was expected to find a worthy air quotes man, to marry and to multiply and replenish the earth. And this was my duty. This was my job that I was supposed to be doing. And I did that at 18 years old, I was married by 22. I had two kids and I was constantly serving other people to the point of burnout re repeatedly.
[00:03:52] Krystal: Going to burnout. You put on that smiling face and you put on that mask so that everybody thinks, wow, she’s got it together. And then behind the scenes, you are a hot mess and you’re crying in the bathroom and you’re just hoping it all gets together. And the thing is that back then, I just lived the life that I thought I was supposed to be living.
[00:04:10] Krystal: And now I see, yes, those were beliefs and expectations that were passed down to me, but I don’t have to embrace them if they don’t feel right for me, I don’t have to live that if it’s not in alignment with my heart and my true soul, it taught, it did teach me several things like perseverance through adversity.
[00:04:36] Krystal: It taught me a lot about being very self. Efficient and not really needing other people, because if I’m serving other people, I shouldn’t need to be served kind of thing. It taught me patience. I learned a lot of beautiful things from that experience. And yet in the same aspect, I also learned a lot of things that like, I don’t believe that God is a vengeful, judgemental, human being.
[00:05:01] Krystal: I think that the powers that be those higher powers are actually very loving and kind and forgiving, and they really want us to thrive and improve what’s in our lives and what’s around us. So huge shifts and changes, but they all stem from that inner question of who am I do? I really feel. This, do I wanna agree with what I was brought up with or do I wanna change it?
[00:05:29] Krystal: And you take some of those lessons and you hold them dear, because they’re fantastic. And others is shed like a snake skin, it’s all at once. Get rid of that stuff and move forward.
[00:05:39] Ryan: So you got divorced at what age? I was
[00:05:43] Krystal: actually 33. Okay. 33 when I finally, yeah, so I was in that marriage for 14 years and for of a good chunk of it, I knew that it would not last, I knew that it was not my permanent soul space.
[00:06:01] Krystal: And yet I had kids. And so I knew that I needed to be in there and do what was right.
[00:06:09] Ryan: So you get out of it during that journey of being married. Is that when you started to find this other piece of your life of, own your shit, or is it when you got divorced and all of a sudden you had an aha moment then?
[00:06:22] Krystal: Oh, no. Five years into the marriage. There was a particularly har harrowing moment. And in, in that moment it was such a shift and I heard this I’m sobbing, I’m really struggling. And I heard this voice, this piece came over me and this voice said, it’s okay. You are not alone. We are with you. And in our religion, there was one holy spirit, one holy comforter.
[00:06:48] Krystal: So on the one hand, the piece just calmed the entire situation for me. And on the other hand, it scared me, cuz I thought, am I going nuts? We are with you. There’s only supposed to be one. What do you mean we. , but I clung to that. And that was a shifting point for me. This moment of I’m not alone. There are beings, not of this realm that are watching over me and guiding me and loving me.
[00:07:13] Krystal: And from that moment on, I would tune in, it was like a muscle, like going to the gym and you start working out and you’re building your muscles up and being able to lift more weight each time you go. And I was constantly tuning in and saying, Hey, are you still there? And they’re like yeah, we’re here.
[00:07:29] Krystal: What do you need? and Hey, this is a question I’ve got and what decision do I need to make? What path do I need to go down? And they’d say, Hey, this is the answer for you. And they were constantly guiding me. And they did that for the next nine years. So I was constantly building this relationship with my higher power and my soul guides that were saying, we got you.
[00:07:51] Krystal: And those decisions that I made with their input meant that I was better able to make a. An amicable decision when it came to the divorce, when it came to working with the kids and helping them through it, because let’s face it. Divorce is never a beautiful thing. It’s always ugly. It’s always a challenge and the kids are always stuck and they’re always pulled between parents and who do I need to be loyal to?
[00:08:18] Krystal: And what do I need to do here? And what do I need to do there? And I really wanted to do my best to make sure that I honored my children and gave them that safe space. But the only way I could do that is if I was honoring their father as well. And everybody in that situation. And if I had relied on my own input of my own choices, I probably would’ve made worse decisions.
[00:08:38] Krystal: However, I was tuning into a higher power saying what’s best in this situation for everyone concerned. And they were constantly giving me paths that I hadn’t even considered. So that moment, five years into a 14 year marriage. Was pivotal. It was absolutely transformative. And the next one happened when I was 33 and I found theater.
[00:09:05] Krystal: And I was like, if you’ve never done theater, there’s this beautiful thing where you get in and everybody has the same goal. You are all together working towards the same purpose and everyone just accepts each other exactly where you’re at. You get to be you in your truest, most authentic place. If you’re sad, one day you go in and you’re sad.
[00:09:29] Krystal: And if you’re happy, one day you go in and people are happy with you and it’s perfectly fine. And I realized that I didn’t have to be something that I wasn’t. I could remove that mask. I could revel in the joy of life again and find that childlike wonder. And so that was my second tipping point. And from there, it was it’s time for the divorce.
[00:09:49] Krystal: It’s time to move forward. It’s time to really stand in a more authentic space.
[00:09:56] Ryan: So that is one deep and two, many people don’t reflect on life that way they tend to just, the only way to say it is, suck it up buttercup type of thing. And sometimes you just can’t do that. It’s you need change.
[00:10:09] Ryan: You, you need to go after, what your calling is or your passion, whatever it is. You need to do that. How I know you’re being guided and so forth, but how do you get to that point? Or how do you let’s transition where I’m gonna, cause I was just gonna go right into this.
[00:10:25] Ryan: Yeah. Yeah. How do you help people own their shit? How do you get them from where they’re at today? Where I don’t wanna change to holy crap. I need to change because I’m in a really bad place.
[00:10:36] Krystal: So first off, there’s always a moment. There’s always that shifting point.
[00:10:42] Krystal: We don’t want to change if we’re comfortable. Why? Yes. Why? If we’re comfortable, it’s this is free and easy and this is great. So it’s not until there is that shifting point discomfort. That says, oh, maybe I wanna do something different. So I had those moments. I had those moments continually in that marriage, there were continually these irritations and I’m not sure I want this.
[00:11:06] Krystal: And they were constantly nudging me towards change. And I had to recognize in each one of those, what am I contributing to this relationship? How am I, how are my actions affecting his and upsetting him even more or making him happy? How is, how are my reactions feeding into his reactions and how is that volatile?
[00:11:29] Krystal: So now. Because I’ve been through that and recognized, oh buddy, I can help people stop and look at it. You have to be willing to look at it and say, I’m not a victim. I chose into this. It doesn’t mean that you chose all of your pain. It doesn’t mean that you created horrible situations. I am not saying that in any way, shape or form, I am saying that the choices that you make, no matter how small they are help you continue on a specific path, it’s that extra I’m gonna have.
[00:12:03] Krystal: I’m just gonna have dessert tonight when you’re trying to lose weight, instead of I’m gonna have just a bite to satisfy that craving, and then I’m good. It’s I help people recognize their contribution to life, their contribution to their own frustrations. As long as you’re pointing the finger at somebody else.
[00:12:27] Ryan: Hi, I’m laughing because it’s very honest. I’m I don’t mean to cut you off, but it’s yeah, it is very honest. If you can’t hold yourself accountable for your own life, then who else is and that’s, that is a struggle. We all have, and we wanna look I wanna say we look to other places or other people for that, and , it doesn’t work you until you I had a guess on several months ago that talked about your inners must match your outers.
[00:12:57] Ryan: And I was like, okay, we gotta go into this. And I didn’t understand it. At first. I got the gist of the analogy, but it’s like what you want on the inside and what you do on the outside have to match. And if those two don’t match guess what your Sol yeah. And he used A thought process that he does in his coaching, but he started with himself is and it’s morbid is he wrote his own eulogy and he wanted to know what he wanted people to learn.
[00:13:25] Ryan: Or know about him when he died. Yeah. And he says he updates it every year. And it’s very interesting to hear that. And he goes backwards with his life and that’s how he learns to grow and expand, but also go after change when he feels like he’s comfortable. Yeah.
[00:13:42] Krystal: Yeah. I’ve heard of a lot of people who actually do that and I think it’s a beautiful exercise.
[00:13:47] Krystal: It lets us really shift it and see ourselves through other people’s eyes. what do people see when they look at me? And what do people often say? Like people tell me all the time, crystal, you’re so busy, you’re so involved in so many things. Is that what I want people to see? Or do I want them to see something else?
[00:14:07] Krystal: And what do I need to do now to change that? So I wanna jump back for a second, in that pointing that finger to absolutely other people. I recognize that the phrase own your shit is offensive. I recognize that some people are like, that’s that’s abrasive. The thing is a lot of people say yes, everybody else needs to own their shit.
[00:14:29] Krystal: And it’s the people who say, everybody else needs to own their shit that are actually the ones that have more work to do. Because if you are actively saying that person needs to change, that person needs to change. That what’s common denominator. It’s you, yeah. It’s absolutely you. And so everyone who.
[00:14:49] Krystal: Gets their back up and says, Uhuh, that’s Uhuh, everyone else needs to do that. This you’re, you are who we’re talking to take a moment, stop, take a breath and recognize that even you have shit in your past that has fed into who you are in the present and changes your reactions based on who you are with.
[00:15:12] Krystal: And what’s going on in the moment. And if you want other people to change, the only thing you can do is change yourself. What do you want? Where
[00:15:21] Ryan: do you wanna be? Oh, we’re going deep now. You’ve already started the rabbit hole. You’ve already dug the hole. But we gotta back up. Why is own your, why is own your shit?
[00:15:30] Ryan: Abrasive
[00:15:32] Krystal: people. Don’t like the cuss word and people don’t like being told that they need to own it. People do not like to hear that they have an issue. Oh, you’re gonna tell me I have an, oh, bullshit. You back the train. You’re the one who has no. We all have issues. You know what? I’ve got them. I absolutely, in fact, I got triggered last week because of something that happened and I was really frustrated and I was irritated and I wanted to yell at this person and then I had to step back and say, why am I above a three?
[00:16:02] Krystal: Why am I so agitated right now? Oh, this feeds into this. That happened when I was a kid. Oh, I’m reacting to childhood trauma. Oh. So let’s sit with that for a minute and see if I can heal it. As soon as you are above a three and ticked off it’s that don’t tell me what I need to do. Don’t tell me who I need to be.
[00:16:26] Krystal: I get to choose my own stuff. And if I am the way I am, you can suck it up. Yes I
[00:16:32] Ryan: can. But there seems to be more of that today than ever. And I say this I’m not asking your age. I’m old, I’m getting old, I’m pushing 50. And My generation is definitely wired differently than these younger generations.
[00:16:49] Ryan: And I see and hear cuz of the podcast, thank you. I’m blessed that people reach out to me and say, Hey, I like your show. I love what you’re doing. I want to be like you. And I’m like, are you willing to give up five years of your life? Yeah. And they get quiet. And they’re like, what are you talking about?
[00:17:04] Ryan: I eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And to this day I still eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches because when that moment comes, when I need to make sure my family’s taken care of, they’re taken care of first and then I’ll eat the peanut butter and jelly sandwich to make sure things are happening.
[00:17:21] Ryan: If you’re not willing to give that sacrifice up for entrepreneurship or a business or a podcast or whatever, you’re trying to do, get a new job, go back to school, whatever it isn’t ever gonna happen. And people don’t realize that it’s got to be changed and own your shit if you want something.
[00:17:36] Ryan: Yeah, and I digress back to is. Everybody. I don’t know. I say everybody, most people have heard of Gary V he puts out a ton of video, puts out a ton of stuff. And the number one thing he talks about is this. If you want to change, you gotta go do it and put it out there. And he doesn’t say own your shit.
[00:17:55] Ryan: He says the F-word and then adds a little, couple words into it. And it’s real, but people hate on him so much because he speaks, you know what they’re thinking, but their inners don’t match their outers. And we’re back to that again. And it’s just I, sorry. Yeah. Let’s just go right back to the I rabbit hole.
[00:18:13] Krystal: No, you’re good. I don’t mind full circle, baby. We all just, it’s all intertwined. It all comes back together. That a beautiful
[00:18:21] Ryan: thing. And if you can’t tell, I’m very passionate about it because I need a lot of people this way through my other businesses and it’s I can’t help somebody that doesn’t wanna help themselves.
[00:18:30] Ryan: We have a saying that we’ll be here when you’re ready. Period. , that’s just what we do. And how do you handle those type of people when they come to you and they, and whether they’re reaching out for help or whatever the case is, your interaction, how do you help?
[00:18:42] Ryan: How do you work with those individuals?
[00:18:46] Krystal: First thing is the very first thing that I do with any of my clients is I call it the mandala ceremony and we go back to, we find the three things that are blocking you the most. And they’re usually, they’re always patterns that you have created in your life due to some experience that you had as a little child, because of this exercise that I do with every one of my clients right off the bat, it brings you naturally to the understanding that you have the power to change and create the life you wanna live.
[00:19:19] Krystal: And you find the gift in the pain that was there, and then you carry the gift forward, but you heal what was in the past. I’ve had a lot of people who say that’s what I want. I wanna change. And they do the work and we do the fire ceremony and move forward. They never come back. They don’t come back because yeah they wanted to go through those actions and yet they weren’t fully ready and that’s perfectly fine, cuz just like you, I say the same thing I am here when you’re.
[00:19:50] Krystal: I wanna teach you when you’re ready, because it’ll go deeper and further and everything that I teach you, you can take home. You’re not gonna ha I want you to graduate from me so that you now have control of your own life. And you get to say, I’m making this choice and I’m making that choice and I’m making them consciously and I’m making them with intention.
[00:20:09] Krystal: I am not a victim life. Isn’t happening to me. I am choosing to take this step. I am choosing to take that step. There are always going to PE people who say, I want that, and yet they’re not quite ready. And that’s okay, because it’s still a seed that’s planted. It’s yeah, it might be 5, 10, 20 years down the road when they say, oh, I remember when I did that.
[00:20:34] Krystal: And I felt really good. And maybe I’ll go back. Maybe I’ll check in and see if there’s something else that I wanna do that seed can sit there for a long time. There are seeds that are dormant for years. Mine is just an offering. And if you want to take that, and if you want to expand on that and leap and run, I am gonna be thrilled to watch you
[00:20:57] Ryan: do that.
[00:20:59] Ryan: So I gotta ask the question, what gets you, what helps them trigger those three events or those three things in their lives? What do you do with them to get there?
[00:21:08] Krystal: It’s very gentle and I take ’em through a guided meditation. Oh, cool. Yeah. So you’re just comfortable whether you’re sitting on my couch or you’re standing on your head or you’re laying, I have this unbelievably delightful soft white rug in my office and people love to lay on it and feel it.
[00:21:28] Krystal: And yeah, so it’s very gentle, very easy and kind in that moment. And then they get to move forward. They do homework from that.
[00:21:38] Ryan: What about if they’re remote from you? How does that work?
[00:21:42] Krystal: I try to do all of those sessions in person.
[00:21:46] Ryan: So if you have somebody that’s out of state, then you can’t really do that.
[00:21:50] Ryan: I don’t really
[00:21:50] Krystal: do that. Yeah. Because because we do the guided meditation and I could do that and you could do your sticks, but then we do a fire ceremony together. And it’s a very intimate moment where you and I together get to connect on the fact that you are releasing all of this stuff that no longer serves you.
[00:22:05] Krystal: And you are now choosing this new path forward. And not everybody has a fire pit. And in the same aspect, it’s often much easier to go through these kinds of transformations when you’ve removed yourself from everything else in the world. So I want you, I want your focus. I want your presence in that moment, recognizing that this is an investment in you and your future and your joy.
[00:22:37] Krystal: Give yourself that it’s not even give me that it’s give yourself that. And this gift that I give to you, that you give to yourself is gonna be one that you can use over and over. I teach you how to take it home so you can continue going through and removing even more patterns. Cuz once you see one or two of them, you are gonna see them all over the place.
[00:22:58] Krystal: You’re gonna be like, oh God, I always do that. Where does that come from? And now you’re gonna know how to go back and say, oh, it comes from that. So what’s the gift. Why do I do it? How do I heal it now let’s move forward.
[00:23:09] Ryan: I wish we could do that with money cuz that’s the type of people I, I deal with.
[00:23:13] Ryan: I’m serious. I mean they, they have a very toxic relationship with money and there’s things. I can’t solve or help them with ultimately I have to send ’em to a counselor because there’s something deep, deeply rooted in whatever their situation is. And for me, it’s, I’m so simple. It’s okay, let’s talk about it.
[00:23:34] Ryan: Let’s figure out what’s going on. And then let’s yeah. Work through it. And some people just don’t wanna do that. And I’m like, okay here’s a list of counselors we work with use them, not use them, whatever, but we have to get to that point of, okay, what is that problem or those issues that you have with money to get you there?
[00:23:53] Ryan: Because most people I keep on using most. I gotta get out of that. That’s a safe word for me. I just caught something on this guys. If you’re listening, it’s a safe word. Catch me on it. The people that come to us are unbankable to where they can’t go to a traditional bank or go get a car loan.
[00:24:08] Ryan: Any type of traditional credit that you and I take advantage of or think that it’s just normal and they work in this secondary market, that’s just atrocious. Yeah. And they think since they’ve grown up around it and it’s all they know, that’s where their life is. They don’t realize that they can change, but until they get that toxicity out of their lives it, doesn’t it nothing allows them to move forward.
[00:24:31] Ryan: And yeah, unfortunately, sometimes it’s their family and I can’t change that. They have to be willing to change that and that’s tough. It is, it’s heart wrenching. And when I first started doing this, six, eight years ago I was trying to help everybody now. It’s we’ll be here when you’re ready.
[00:24:45] Ryan: I can, I can’t help everybody. It’ll kill me is what it’s gonna do.
[00:24:50] Krystal: Yeah, you throw yourself off balance trying to fix everybody else. And that just doesn’t work either. And you’re absolutely right. It often, it almost always stems back to your upbringing and your parents’ beliefs on money and their parents’ beliefs on money and how that just filters down and through.
[00:25:08] Krystal: And it can even be something absolutely simple. You’ll have people who make six figures, but they can’t actually meet their bills because they have this block in their brain that they never have enough. That never have enough comes from your childhood. There comes, it comes from one or many reaffirming moments that say, Hey, you know what?
[00:25:28] Krystal: This is the way that it is. And you’re never gonna have enough. So you grow up with that belief and then you’re super successful, but you still never have enough. What is that? You gotta go back and heal it. You gotta go back and fix it. Whether that’s with a talk doc, a therapist, a SHA, whatever that is.
[00:25:45] Krystal: I like that
[00:25:45] Ryan: talk doc. I like that. Yeah. I’ve never heard that.
[00:25:49] Krystal: My sister gave it to me and I absolutely love it. Yeah. However it is that you get down to the root of the issue, the root of the pattern that is holding you back. I highly encourage you to do that because you will find that there is something and there is a gift in it.
[00:26:04] Krystal: There is a reason that you learned it and there is, it has served you in some way, shape or form. So let’s honor that gift instead of using it as a bludgeon over our heads, and now we’re free and we get to say, oh no. I always have more than enough. I have more than enough. So now I can bless other people because we stepped back.
[00:26:25] Krystal: We owned our shit. We owned our own contribution into this belief in our life, and then we’ve changed it into immensely better.
[00:26:34] Ryan: Yeah. And yeah it’s, it’s just amazing. The relationships we have and I say relationships cuz it’s plural because we all have different relationships with money, but , here’s some stories about what people have gone through with money and what it means.
[00:26:50] Ryan: And the question I always ask somebody, if I’m gonna help them through that process, coach them, or refer them to somebody is this what’s more valuable time or money and you know what, the funny thing is probably 65, 70% say money and I’m thinking, oh man we could have a philosophical, thought process, invoking process of talking about all this.
[00:27:14] Ryan: And I just say, what, can you get money back? and they get quiet and they’re like, no. Okay. So let me give you another question. I go file bankruptcy tomorrow. Do I get to get money back the next day? And they’re like, yeah. And I’m like now you can get money back and I’m gonna ask you the other question.
[00:27:32] Ryan: Can you get time back? And they’re like, they finally say no. And it like resonates at that point. And I said, the most valuable commodity that you and I have, and everybody on this planet is time because you’re only guaranteed that next 30 or 60 seconds. And that’s not even guaranteed, to keep going.
[00:27:48] Ryan: So every morning we wake up, you gotta be thankful that you’re not pushing up Daisy’s and you’re looking north. So yeah, you’re above the green stuff and you’re able to go out there and do whatever you need to do to grind it out or whatever your thought, your thought processes for the day.
[00:28:04] Ryan: But I also tell them on the inverse side is if you choose to be comfortable and not want to change, that’s your life. But you can’t go around and complain about it. And like you said earlier, I say the same thing. You can’t go blame everybody else for your life. You own it. I don’t typically tell me own your shit, but I think I’m gonna start working on that.
[00:28:22] Ryan: You’ve got me, you’ve got me all fired up because it’s I’m dealing with, I’m dealing with a couple individuals that have come to us and it’s they’re hardheaded. And I know they want change. I just dunno how far I wanna go with them, but I think it’s time to rip the bandaid off and let it bleed a little bit and just say, Hey, if you don’t wanna own your shit, let’s go, you’re, you can go do your thing and come back to me when you’re ready to own it.
[00:28:43] Ryan: But at the end of the day, we all have to own it. And if we don’t, yeah, blame yourself. You can’t blame anybody else around you,
[00:28:51] Krystal: Uhuh, you ask ’em, what’s your contribution in this? What’s your contribution to this situation? What choices.
[00:28:59] Ryan: Another nugget. You gave us another nugget. That’s another good one is what your contribution.
[00:29:03] Ryan: I’m not joking. This is this. What you’re sharing is a lot of things that I talk about and it’s refreshing to have somebody else talking about the same thing, just for the simple fact, it needs to be heard. And we need to understand that, especially with times where we’re at we’re yeah. And I’m not political, whatever we’re divided on that.
[00:29:24] Ryan: But then we also seem to be living through the lens of social media and chasing after the Joneses. And we have to go out and spend all this money and do all this and do that. And there’s not a single thing we go after that is a, an experience. It’s all about things. And how much can I buy and show people that I’m rich when realistically you’re broke as a joke and yeah, you’re living a horrible life.
[00:29:47] Krystal: Yeah. One of my favorite gifts that people give me is time. It’s Hey, amen. I know it’s your, I know it’s your birthday and I didn’t know what to get you. So can we just go out for coffee? Can I buy you tea? Can we go out? And it’s not a movie because you’re just staring at a screen and that is absolutely a perfect moment and ability time, opportunity to get together, but like going to dinner where I can chat with you and I can connect with you and I can say, Hey, how is your life?
[00:30:15] Krystal: And what’s going on for you? And time that moment where I get to connect with another human being on a very deep level, instead of that soft surfacey. Hey, how are you doing? I’m good. How are you? Great. How are the kids? Great. Okay see you later. Let’s move on. No. What’s really going on for you.
[00:30:34] Krystal: How’s work. How’s life. How are the kids really doing? Are they scared about school? Are they excited about school? Like that connection is such
[00:30:43] Ryan: a gift. And you know what? That doesn’t happen a lot nowadays because we’re so tied into our cell phones. Yeah. And by all means, I’m not saying social media is an evil on all fronts because no, I wouldn’t have been able to get my voice out there and have people begging.
[00:31:03] Ryan: And I say, begging, I shouldn’t say that wanting to come on this show I say, be my choice of words are bad today. I need more coffee. It’s true. I bad choice of words here. We’re slapping ourselves. Hey,
[00:31:13] Krystal: he’s owning his shit. Did you see that? He just owned it?
[00:31:16] Ryan: I just owned it. And for you listening, I just slapped myself saying I need to own my shit, but we don’t like at the dinner table.
[00:31:23] Ryan: People I’ll go out to dinner with my girlfriend or my family or whatever. And we all put our cell phones away and everything, and we wanna have a healthy conversation. And then we look around. And you see these families all on their cell phones and I’m not just talking about the kids, the parents, no.
[00:31:37] Ryan: Are all on their cell phone and not a single person. Excuse me. Single person is conversing. That’s sad. Yeah. That tells us
[00:31:45] Krystal: go, yeah, it breaks my heart to see a couple that’s out on a date. And one of them is stuck to their phone and the other one’s just looking around. Yeah. Wishing that they were a little more important to the person across the table.
[00:32:00] Krystal: It’s, set those phone. There was, there are a lot of tips and tricks. Some people put all their phones in the middle of the table and you can’t touch it. If you touch your phone, then you’re the one that’s paying for dinner kind of thing. I’ve seen that times. Yeah. I tell people that I’m in a meeting.
[00:32:15] Krystal: If I’m going out for coffee with a friend, I literally tell my husband. Yeah. I have a meeting today from 11 to two. Oh, you do. Yeah. What’s your meeting about? Oh, I’m having coffee with Beth, but because it’s a meeting, he doesn’t try to bother me. He recognizes that’s what’s going on and I’m not gonna be looking at my phone.
[00:32:35] Krystal: So I tell the most important people that are right there in my life that I am setting an intention that for these few hours, I am not available and I’m not available because I’m intentionally connecting with somebody else. It’s that added purpose behind what we’re doing that thought. Yeah.
[00:32:56] Ryan: But where have we gone wrong with that?
[00:32:58] Ryan: And I ask this is because technology has caused this. I don’t know. There’s so many things we could go down. We could have a four hour conversation on this, but ultimately we’ve lost that piece and it’s. We’re recording this podcast. I have everything in my office turned off, cuz I don’t want to be disturbed.
[00:33:16] Ryan: I could tell you my phone’s probably going off, but it’s on do not disturb. I don’t care. This is our time to talk and connect and do all that stuff. And it’s fun. We don’t do this enough. And it’s like a pandemic happened, took that away from us and we’re like clamoring to get out.
[00:33:31] Ryan: But we didn’t realize that we were so stuck on technology that we needed to reconnect with ourselves in loved ones that we just go right back to our old adage of back on our cell phones at dinner or whatever the case is. We’re not connecting mono and mono or however you wanna say that. Yeah.
[00:33:50] Krystal: I think that the pandemic did a lot of things.
[00:33:53] Krystal: And socially I’ve heard a lot of D. Takes on it, because for me, I used to think that I was very much an extrovert and I wanted to be the life of the party yet through the pandemic, I recognized I’m more of an introvert and I prefer the one on one because I really get to go deeper with you as a human being.
[00:34:12] Krystal: And as a connection that I’m wanting to foster and grow other people, they realized how much they needed more people. They needed to be around people. And the way that we were able to do that is through our phones and connecting and texting or zooming and FaceTiming or through social media, we as humans, it is a human need to be approved of.
[00:34:38] Krystal: We need approval and we need connection. Yes, that’s just the way it is generally speaking, we need our own approval. And yet we most often seek that approval from external to reaffirm our internal. Voice saying no. It’s okay. You’re of value. You mean something, you have purpose, that kind of thing.
[00:35:01] Krystal: Social media feeds that need social media when you’re getting the likes and the follows and all of that stuff, all these people are validating us. They’re letting us know, Hey yeah, you matter. And we’re really good. And so it’s given us that artificial connection and I, I don’t mean that in a negative way.
[00:35:18] Krystal: I say artificial because it’s through the computer. It’s not necessarily one-on-one talking with somebody it’s still a very valid
[00:35:25] Ryan: you say artificial, can we back up and we can go back and forth and banter a little bit? Is it sure? Is it truly, think about it or I add a nuance and then you answer it.
[00:35:34] Ryan: You have all these likes, you have all these shares and we get all excited. But what happens when we have somebody crap on us, on a social media post, what happens?
[00:35:43] Krystal: And that’s why I say artificial though, because often times,
[00:35:46] Ryan: no, I haven’t gone far enough yet. So when someone craps on your social media post, what happens, we get all down on the dumps and stuff like that.
[00:35:53] Ryan: But what happens if you tune out the highs and the lows and you’re just you and you keep on going down the road, what happens? You tune out the haters, you tune out the likes and you just keep going. , that’s a novel concept that I have very I hear very few people talk about there’s two people. I know that.
[00:36:09] Ryan: Talk about it. Gary V is one and he pushes that huge. And there’s another gentleman that was on my podcast that actually took care of that Donald. And he just, he hammered it home that, yeah, if you’re gonna go out on social media and you’re gonna put stuff out there because you’re trying to grow your business, grow your personal brand.
[00:36:28] Ryan: You can’t take the highs and the lows and work those extreme polls. You have to stay in the middle and just keep trucking, be thankful for the likes and the shares. Be thankful for the haters equally and see what they have to say, but you can’t let them control you. Otherwise you go nowhere. It
[00:36:45] Krystal: boils down to what’s your purpose behind doing the social media?
[00:36:50] Krystal: Are you doing it because you need that personal boost and that reassurance, or are you doing that because that’s who you are and what you are about, because if you’re doing it for your own personal reassurance and validation, then the haters are gonna hurt you. The likes are gonna really help you out and you’re gonna be on this rollercoaster all over the place.
[00:37:14] Krystal: And that’s all because you yourself have not owned your shit and found your true, authentic, inner being right. If you are out there because you are trying to build a brand and you are trying to help people and change the world in your own little corner or worldwide, whatever that is, if you have that purpose and that reason behind it, it’s much easier to say, oh, that hater it’s okay, love you.
[00:37:38] Krystal: You might have a little shit to own. And those likes, thank you. I appreciate that. And I love and support you in your journey. And I’m just gonna keep being me here in the middle. We, I was, I mentioned artificial and it’s the it’s you don’t really know those people, so they’re not a real true connection.
[00:37:58] Krystal: You couldn’t really put a face if you were out on, if you were going to the grocery store, you wouldn’t know, Hey, you’re frost giant. Gotcha, baby. Nice to see you. Hey, nobody’s asking you for your autographs and whatnot, because it’s not a real true, authentic. Connection that’s there.
[00:38:15] Krystal: Yeah,
[00:38:15] Ryan: it’s I, this is the funny part of all this in the last several weeks I started, my girlfriend says, you know what? Your content’s getting a little sta and I’m on thinking, what are you talking about stale? I’m putting out three or four posts a day and it’s different clips from the podcast or from me or whatever.
[00:38:30] Ryan: And she goes, when, stale is, you’re not doing shorts and I’m like shorts, like in like Instagram and Facebook. And she goes, yeah, then, oh, sorry, reels. And then shorts on YouTube. And I’m like, okay, I’ve seen ’em. I know them, blah, blah, blah, whatever . So she’s you need to start putting some out and start teasing the podcast and talking about the things you do on the other side.
[00:38:49] Ryan: And I’m like, okay, I’ll start doing it. I started doing it two weeks ago and, going through it, whatever. And I’m trying to find a different message that I can put out there. The funny thing is. I have more people hating on the words that I put out on my reels than anything.
[00:39:03] Ryan: It’s you know what? I’m on the right topic. And my girlfriend goes, what are you talking about? If people are hating on my message about change, that means they’re struggling with that. And they, it resonates with them and they don’t wanna hear it. But the funny thing is they like the video. They like the shorter, the, or the reels and then they leave a nasty comment.
[00:39:23] Ryan: I love it. It fueled me to put more out there. Yep.
[00:39:28] Krystal: I love the way that you look at that. I love the way you . Huh? I love your point of view on how that hater actually it resonated with them in some way. I got a little under their skin and because I got under that skin, I’m gonna keep doing it cuz I’ll get under more people’s skin.
[00:39:43] Krystal: And when you’re under more people’s skin, they’re gonna remember you. Oh my gosh, that Ryan dude. Holy crap. Isn’t he? But then people are talking about you and they’re talking about your shift and your change and your message. And it’s a gift instead of a, Ugh, I can’t handle that, but that’s your purpose.
[00:39:59] Ryan: Right? And that’s my purpose and I enjoy change. And I’m not afraid to put, messages out there. If people hate it, great. If they like it great too. But at the end of the day it’s what I’m passionate about. And that’s what I do. Yeah. And the podcasts are that way too.
[00:40:12] Ryan: And it’s people don’t realize if you find that passion and you put your message out there, you’re happy. You’re in the right place in life and you continue to evolve and get yourself in a better place. But when you start listening to those highs and lows, they got you and controlled you and you cannot, the only way I know how to describe it is was it about two and a half, three years ago?
[00:40:36] Ryan: I put out a video so two years ago. Yeah. It’s about during it’s during, pandemic COVID that stuff, blah, blah, blah. And I was putting videos out of video, out about PPP and some different business stuff. And I was walking through some of the bills and literally sharing my screen as the bills were coming out.
[00:40:54] Ryan: And I had people coming on saying, you don’t know what you’re talking about. This is not gonna pass and this and that. And they kept on going back and forth and bantering. I’m just like listening, whatever the on or the icing on the cake here. I really didn’t care because I was sharing some information and ultimately was able to help other people struggling businesses that needed money.
[00:41:13] Ryan: Yeah. Realistically needed money to get there. And one of those, two of those one, and then second one came along, people that were hating about the bill and how much it was so crappy and so forth reached out to me personally and thanked me afterwards and said, Hey, I’m sorry. I was so harsh on you about what you were sharing.
[00:41:31] Ryan: You were just trying to help you. Weren’t trying to, they felt I was playing down the bill or whatever the case is. And I’ve always told people whether you’re a Republican Democrat, independent, I don’t care. I honestly think all, unfortunately, all politicians are in it for one thing, money. So that’s life.
[00:41:49] Ryan: That’s just who I am, but the end result was it was nice to connect with these individuals on a phone call and really understand who they were and why they were so upset. And it ended up being, they were upset is because they were turned down for a PPP. And they didn’t know how to go through that process.
[00:42:06] Ryan: And I started explaining the process to ’em and ultimately one got the able ability to get another loan or get approved for a loan. The other one had to go through an approval a approval process and then a denial and then another approval process. And finally got it. It was cool. It’s just one of those things, but I didn’t let life get me down and say, okay, I’m gonna stop doing these because I had haters out there.
[00:42:25] Ryan: It just, I digressed again. Sorry. I always put it out there. Another rabbit hole. . It is. It’s just I get a, I get happy about these things because it’s truly life and it’s how you handle it and how you react to these things that happen to you. Yeah. How do you with your clients and so forth, how do you have, how do you help them get through those type of moments when they have those situations happen to them in life?
[00:42:49] Krystal: I’m a storyteller. So I help them recognize that they’re not alone, that other people have gone through it. And because other people have gone through it, they can go through it too. And they can come out better, brighter, happier on the other side. It’s okay. What’s there. Why are you reacting? What are you reacting to?
[00:43:09] Krystal: And then how do you wanna shift that? How do you wanna change that? We all, it’s
[00:43:16] Krystal: taking that moment to step back and recognize that this wall that’s in front of us is not actually a brick wall that is in like you, you can’t break it down. It’s you can step around it. It’s just a wall right there. There might even be a door in the wall taking a moment to step back, see it from a different perspective and recognize that you’re not the only.
[00:43:36] Krystal: There are probably haters. There are definitely haters on every single platform they like to do it just cause they like to do it. There are trolls they’re and they, a lot of people just don’t understand what your message fully is. And so take a moment and come back to center, come back to you, come back to your authentic, inner being
[00:44:02] Ryan: that’s easier said than done.
[00:44:07] Krystal: sorry. It’s like going to the gym. You have to build that muscle. That’s just it though. If you take a moment to figure out who you are, where you’re at, what your true inner personal belief beliefs are like, where you stand in life on all the different subject, where are you at? Who are you? If you take that moment and recognize who you are, then when those other voices come into your head and say I’m not good enough.
[00:44:33] Krystal: You’re gonna be able to stop and say am I not good enough? That’s bullshit because quite frankly, I can do this, and this, which means that I am good enough because I’m educated and able to give this information to people I’m able to teach people. I’m able to help people. You start recognizing what is your voice, which is always this loving, supportive, being this voice that says, yeah, you’ve totally got this every time you think I can do that.
[00:44:59] Krystal: That is you. That is your authentic, absolute you. And every time you think I can’t do that because that’s somebody else’s voice that is society that is growing up. That is parents. That is your other kids in school and whatnot. That is a different voice. That is not yours. Trying to keep you in a box. Do you wanna listen to that?
[00:45:18] Krystal: Or do you wanna start listening to the positive one? That’s gonna uplift you and encourage you and help you be on the right path. And it’s a muscle that you have to work with. And I tell people all the time, argue the shit out of it, argue with it. The next time you think I like that the next time you think I’m stupid?
[00:45:34] Krystal: Oh, bullshit. I graduated. I did this. I’ve done that. I am actually really smart. And even if you didn’t go to school like college or whatnot, I have all of this life knowledge. , I’m very smart. I’m world smart. I know how to do this. I know how to do that. So I’m a smart person and shut up. I’m not stupid or I’m ugly.
[00:45:54] Krystal: Oh, bullshit. I’m beautiful. I love my eyes. I love this about me and I love how I’m so giving to other people. And I love that I’m compassionate. I am a very beautiful person. So you can just shut up and I’m gonna listen to this one over here, because this one is where I wanna be. So argue with that negative voice in your head, and that will help you create this super high of positivity.
[00:46:17] Krystal: That is actually your inner truth, your reality, your authentic being, and it.
[00:46:27] Ryan: Another truth bomb that comes out, that I’m gonna have to steal somehow
[00:46:33] Ryan: and it could lead us down another rabbit hole because when you’re arguing the crap out of it, how often are you winning versus losing? And that’s just a whole nother, that’s a whole nother topic because a lot of people that, another safe word a lot, gotta get that out too. Think about it.
[00:46:51] Ryan: Change is tough and you’re arguing the crap out of whatever. Let’s say I’m ugly. And I don’t wanna be on camera and I don’t wanna do this and I don’t wanna do that. It takes a lot of work to say, okay, I’m gonna get over that and get on camera and start doing whatever you wanna do.
[00:47:08] Ryan: How yeah. Think
[00:47:11] Krystal: about arguing about. Think about I don’t have enough or I can’t do this really. You can’t make that much. Are you kidding me? Let’s argue with that. I can make that much because I can do this and I could do this and I could do this, which then starts building a business plan.
[00:47:25] Krystal: Oh, I can do this. And I can make more because I have the ability to do this. Arguing with it completely changes your mindset. It changes it from a victim and a I’m not to an, I am. I can, how am I gonna do this?
[00:47:40] Ryan: I’m with you, cuz I have those arguments on a daily basis with myself. I’ve got some lofty goals that I’m trying to accomplish and I fight with them.
[00:47:47] Ryan: I fight with myself every single day on them and I’m still struggling with them. I have to figure out my way I’m by no means a professional marketer and I struggle with marketing and they always say, do what you love and what you’re best at and hand everything off. I’m also a. Of the ilk and the person that I will do all the grunt work and learn the grunt work before I pass it off to somebody else.
[00:48:08] Ryan: And that’s where I’m at is and marketing and growing and scaling our coaching business is something I want to do and I am doing, but it’s a struggle. The marketing is a real pain in the ass, to be honest. Yeah. And getting the right message out there as me as the face of it. Yeah, it’s a struggle because a lot of people, and there he is, again, a lot people, don’t, people don’t resonate with somebody that’s just straightforward.
[00:48:36] Ryan: And I, at times don’t have a filter. And when I say filter as in I don’t sugar coat it. If you’re coming to me through my referral business, you’re typically at a bottom to where you’re one gonna lose your business. Two, potentially gonna lose your license, whether you’re be a doctor or an attorney or three, you’re just don’t understand your relationship with.
[00:48:57] Ryan: and yeah, those individuals get me because they’re the same way. It’s the individuals that come to me through our nonprofit or through some other channels that we’re working on for marketing that yeah. Don’t realize that they are at a point in their life, a very pivotal point in their life for change.
[00:49:16] Ryan: It’s either gonna be a four letter word to them or not. And that’s where I struggle. And I fight with myself on a daily basis to have a better grasp of individuals that come to us and be able to give them a little bit of sugar coating, but also the same. Timem when I have to tell ’em you need to own your shit.
[00:49:34] Ryan: Yeah.
[00:49:35] Krystal: The thing is that people who are ready for your work and who will really click with you and who will, who really benefit from what you have to offer are going to be attracted to the less sugar, more straight shooter. That’s what they want. That’s what they need. Life is up a buffet. When we have a need, we’re gonna go to the buffet and we’re gonna look at all these different things.
[00:49:59] Krystal: And we’re gonna say you know what? I like this. And I like that. And I like that, but I’m gonna leave the rest because I really don’t need it. And what works for me is not gonna work for you is not gonna work for someone else. And yet there will be other things like we might both love Ambrosia we might both love this one thing over here, like owning your shit.
[00:50:16] Krystal: We’re gonna love that. But we may be completely on different ends when it comes to politics or any religion or any other kind of thing. We all get to enjoy. That’s why we get to pick what we want. We get to leave the rest and we get to respect that there are other people who love sunflower seeds on their salad.
[00:50:35] Krystal: Whereas I may say, hell no. . It’s really cool when you look at it that way. And I get to say, you know what? There are gonna pee people on social media who absolutely resonate with mine. I am giving them a part of the buffet that they are thrilled to be receiving. And then the other people. Okay you don’t have to eat potatoes salad, cuz not everybody likes that so I can let you go.
[00:51:00] Krystal: I can respect it. I like potato salad, especially with eggs and a little extra mustard in it personally. I think it’s pretty good. So we can be in the same realm. We can both be on the salad bar. We can both enjoy that. And yet I don’t wanna, I really don’t want to work with the people who do not resonate with me at all, because it’s gonna be like pulling teeth.
[00:51:20] Krystal: It’s gonna be uncomfortable and frustrating and change does not happen. If you are not comfortable with the person that’s teaching you.
[00:51:27] Ryan: Yes. Your walls. Go ahead. Go ahead. No, go ahead. I’m just you’re you’re you’re you’re you’re you’re you’re speaking all the right words and you’re speaking my English it’s it’s just all good.
[00:51:38] Ryan: That is just awesome.
[00:51:39] Krystal: Yeah. With me, I create the most calming, protective, safe space that I can give to my clients because of the type of change that I am asking them to do. It’s deep change. Any time that we are changing and we are seeking out whatever it is on that buffet to help us change. We need to be comfortable with that person.
[00:52:00] Krystal: We need to be comfortable with the way that they’re working with the way that they’re talking to us with what they’re teaching. Otherwise, we are not going to embrace what they have to say. We are not going to apply it, and we are not going to be able to move forward. And you honestly, I gotta tell you, if you feel like you have to change yourself for every client that comes through that.
[00:52:18] Krystal: You are not at your best. You are constantly questioning who you are, what you’re doing, what you’re saying, whether or not this is good enough. Do I need to shift this? Do I need to shift that? Which is a disservice to the person that’s sitting in front of you. So we all need to find who we can and help each other and grow with each other and say, yes, I am really thrilled that I was able to help you because we jive so well.
[00:52:42] Krystal: And I recognize that I can’t help you. However, I know somebody else that might be able to talk your language a little bit better, so I’m gonna refer you to somebody else. And I that’s an area that I think a lot of us see a lot, I think in our own, see in our own realms. I think that it’s easy to want to be in our box and not have anybody take our clients.
[00:53:04] Krystal: And yet it would be a better service to humanity. If we were more open and said, you know what? I recognize that you and I don’t jive. So I want to refer you to somebody else, but I have to know that somebody else to be able to refer. I have to know somebody else. I have to know what they do and why their way of approaching something is different than my way of approaching something.
[00:53:29] Krystal: Cause the reality is we’re all here trying to help each other. Those of us who are on podcasts and teaching and influencers and whatnot, we’re all trying to build up and improve the quality of life. And yet the only way we can do that is making sure that people meet up on the levels that they are ready and able to meet up and learn and change and shift to a higher
[00:53:50] Ryan: way of being amen.
[00:53:53] Ryan: What a great way to end the show. Gini Christmas, that was so deep, but also so straightforward. And when I’m, what I’m really getting to is collaboration is not a bad thing. And sometimes people think that collaboration is horrible, but if there’s somebody that can help somebody else better than I can.
[00:54:12] Ryan: I’m all for it. And I’m learning in this podcast space is a lot of the collaborations, again, a lot. Geez. I gotta go through it. Many other podcasters or guests that I’ve had on are willing to help, me grow the podcast or want me to come on theirs or share. It’s just a great collaboration piece.
[00:54:33] Ryan: And it’s if we take more of a view of collaboration and be able to break it up and put it into each of ours each of ours wheelhouse or strength how much growth could we all experience and be able to help more people in whatever situation they’re in or whatever our specialty is. It’s just a different way to look at it.
[00:54:54] Ryan: And it doesn’t mean it’s bad. It doesn’t have to be four letters. It means as you’re growing as a human being, you’re growing as an entrepreneur or a business owner, but you’re also helping others through whatever life. MIS or life situations they have going on. Yeah. Yep. It’s man. We could keep on going.
[00:55:14] Ryan: We’ll have to talk about coming back and start talking some more crystal. How can everyone get ahold of you? I know you’re are you only taking clients in Colorado?
[00:55:24] Krystal: We’re just coming out of the whole COVID whatnot and right now, I’ve had a lot of clients actually travel here to work with me anyway.
[00:55:33] Krystal: Okay. But we have a ton of different ways that you can connect with me and not have to really spend a lot. So we have the I’m at crystal jacobowsky on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube. There are a ton of free guided meditations and inspirations on my YouTube channel. And then I also have an online course that’s called intro to you.
[00:55:51] Krystal: And it helps you dive into the four bodies that you have, which are your spiritual, your mental, your physical, and emotional, and there’s guided meditations and journaling, all sorts of stuff in there that you can use to connect with your own path and where you wanna be. And then we do have a couple of courses that you can go to my website, crystal kowski.com and dive into.
[00:56:13] Krystal: So there are lots of different ways and you can go from free to in person and having unbelievable transf transformative moments.
[00:56:23] Ryan: I will link your website and whatever else we do in the show notes. So people can have that. And then, yeah. I’m sure we’ll be hitting social media, so we’ll have no problem sharing all that stuff out so that’ll work and get yourself, get your name out there.
[00:56:35] Ryan: But also I wanna I’ll joke aside. I really want to thank you for coming on because it’s been a healthy conversation and you’ve provided a different perspective, but the piece that I really love is own your shit is huge because we just don’t and it resonates with me. And we’ll connect afterwards and see what we can do to have you come on again or do something different and be able to get some people involved in that piece, cuz it’s we all need it.
[00:57:00] Ryan: We all need it on a daily basis. You gotta own it. If you don’t own it, you’re going nowhere. The fact of the matter
[00:57:06] Krystal: is that as soon as you start owning it, you find more personal peace because you recognize the why behind the what, why am I reacting this way? What happened? And then you stop reacting and you start living.
[00:57:21] Krystal: It’s freeing. It’s amazing. So I just encourage everyone own your shit in the most loving, compassionate way you possibly can, and your life will change.
[00:57:31] Ryan: Amen to that. Crystal. Thank you for coming on honor. Great, healthy conversation. I love what you have to say and definitely would have you back on again.
[00:57:41] Ryan: Thank you so
[00:57:42] Krystal: much for having me your delight. Thank you.
[00:00:00] Ryan: Hey guys, Ryan DeMent from Chasing Happiness Podcast I hope you guys are having a great day this week on the podcast. We have Krystal Jakosky and Krystal is a teacher and writer in Colorado that are helping people do what own their shit guys, own their shit. She wants you to take ownership of your life and be able to get yourself in a better place.
[00:00:25] Ryan: And boy, do we have some rabbit holes to go down Krystal, welcome into the show.
[00:00:30] Ryan: Thank you so much. I am excited and delighted to be here.
[00:00:33] Ryan: I love your saying. And when we had our precall, I immediately connected to it. So before we get into your journey, tell the listeners a little bit about yourself and then we’ll go down some rabbit hole
[00:00:43] Krystal: Fabulous, So I’m a. Oh, I’m a wife. I’m a mother, I’m a grandmother. I was raised in a very religious home where religion defined every choice and decision that we made, which meant that I needed to follow that path that was put before me. And at some point I was very questionable. I was like, I’m not so sure that this is where I wanna be.
[00:01:05] Krystal: And through life experiences and learning that my shit, I was contributing to some of my own problems and the challenges that were placed before me. I I decided to change and I left a rough relationship. My husband and I, we got a divorce and I found theater and I found self worth and the world just opened up to me and it was not through, it was hard.
[00:01:31] Krystal: One. It was through a talk doc. It was through lots of counseling, lots of learning, lots of new teachers. And. Now I’m in this wonderful space where I get to help other people do the same thing. Let’s own our shit. Let’s find our own true worth. Let’s expand. Let’s give ourselves some compassion with everything we’ve been through and then let’s project that forward to everyone around us so that we can have a better life and make the world a better that’s in a nutshell.
[00:02:03] Ryan: So let’s talk about you growing up in a really religious home. How did that kind of shape you in who you are today in, in, in your journeys? Like from the day you, you could remember it was very religious or did you have to grow into it? How did the household, how did your household work?
[00:02:30] Ryan: Oh, you’re back high. Sorry. Did you hear my question?
[00:02:35] Krystal: Froze for a minute there. And you were asking me about how religion really shaped who I am and how I move forward in life. Yes. And the answer to that is, is, and I don’t think it’s just religion that does this to us. I think society does it as well that men or role and women have a role, and this is how you’re supposed to live.
[00:02:55] Krystal: And this is what’s expected of you in mind. Women were very much a they were in the home, they were responsible for the spirituality and keeping the house the way that it was. We were responsible for giving service to everybody around us and helping to uplift others. The man was supposed to bring in the money and be the overarching patriarchal leadership of the.
[00:03:20] Krystal: And you had to walk the line. You had to make sure that you were towing it. Exactly. I was expected to find a worthy air quotes man, to marry and to multiply and replenish the earth. And this was my duty. This was my job that I was supposed to be doing. And I did that at 18 years old, I was married by 22. I had two kids and I was constantly serving other people to the point of burnout re repeatedly.
[00:03:52] Krystal: Going to burnout. You put on that smiling face and you put on that mask so that everybody thinks, wow, she’s got it together. And then behind the scenes, you are a hot mess and you’re crying in the bathroom and you’re just hoping it all gets together. And the thing is that back then, I just lived the life that I thought I was supposed to be living.
[00:04:10] Krystal: And now I see, yes, those were beliefs and expectations that were passed down to me, but I don’t have to embrace them if they don’t feel right for me, I don’t have to live that if it’s not in alignment with my heart and my true soul, it taught, it did teach me several things like perseverance through adversity.
[00:04:36] Krystal: It taught me a lot about being very self. Efficient and not really needing other people, because if I’m serving other people, I shouldn’t need to be served kind of thing. It taught me patience. I learned a lot of beautiful things from that experience. And yet in the same aspect, I also learned a lot of things that like, I don’t believe that God is a vengeful, judgemental, human being.
[00:05:01] Krystal: I think that the powers that be those higher powers are actually very loving and kind and forgiving, and they really want us to thrive and improve what’s in our lives and what’s around us. So huge shifts and changes, but they all stem from that inner question of who am I do? I really feel. This, do I wanna agree with what I was brought up with or do I wanna change it?
[00:05:29] Krystal: And you take some of those lessons and you hold them dear, because they’re fantastic. And others is shed like a snake skin, it’s all at once. Get rid of that stuff and move forward.
[00:05:39] Ryan: So you got divorced at what age? I was
[00:05:43] Krystal: actually 33. Okay. 33 when I finally, yeah, so I was in that marriage for 14 years and for of a good chunk of it, I knew that it would not last, I knew that it was not my permanent soul space.
[00:06:01] Krystal: And yet I had kids. And so I knew that I needed to be in there and do what was right.
[00:06:09] Ryan: So you get out of it during that journey of being married. Is that when you started to find this other piece of your life of, own your shit, or is it when you got divorced and all of a sudden you had an aha moment then?
[00:06:22] Krystal: Oh, no. Five years into the marriage. There was a particularly har harrowing moment. And in, in that moment it was such a shift and I heard this I’m sobbing, I’m really struggling. And I heard this voice, this piece came over me and this voice said, it’s okay. You are not alone. We are with you. And in our religion, there was one holy spirit, one holy comforter.
[00:06:48] Krystal: So on the one hand, the piece just calmed the entire situation for me. And on the other hand, it scared me, cuz I thought, am I going nuts? We are with you. There’s only supposed to be one. What do you mean we. , but I clung to that. And that was a shifting point for me. This moment of I’m not alone. There are beings, not of this realm that are watching over me and guiding me and loving me.
[00:07:13] Krystal: And from that moment on, I would tune in, it was like a muscle, like going to the gym and you start working out and you’re building your muscles up and being able to lift more weight each time you go. And I was constantly tuning in and saying, Hey, are you still there? And they’re like yeah, we’re here.
[00:07:29] Krystal: What do you need? and Hey, this is a question I’ve got and what decision do I need to make? What path do I need to go down? And they’d say, Hey, this is the answer for you. And they were constantly guiding me. And they did that for the next nine years. So I was constantly building this relationship with my higher power and my soul guides that were saying, we got you.
[00:07:51] Krystal: And those decisions that I made with their input meant that I was better able to make a. An amicable decision when it came to the divorce, when it came to working with the kids and helping them through it, because let’s face it. Divorce is never a beautiful thing. It’s always ugly. It’s always a challenge and the kids are always stuck and they’re always pulled between parents and who do I need to be loyal to?
[00:08:18] Krystal: And what do I need to do here? And what do I need to do there? And I really wanted to do my best to make sure that I honored my children and gave them that safe space. But the only way I could do that is if I was honoring their father as well. And everybody in that situation. And if I had relied on my own input of my own choices, I probably would’ve made worse decisions.
[00:08:38] Krystal: However, I was tuning into a higher power saying what’s best in this situation for everyone concerned. And they were constantly giving me paths that I hadn’t even considered. So that moment, five years into a 14 year marriage. Was pivotal. It was absolutely transformative. And the next one happened when I was 33 and I found theater.
[00:09:05] Krystal: And I was like, if you’ve never done theater, there’s this beautiful thing where you get in and everybody has the same goal. You are all together working towards the same purpose and everyone just accepts each other exactly where you’re at. You get to be you in your truest, most authentic place. If you’re sad, one day you go in and you’re sad.
[00:09:29] Krystal: And if you’re happy, one day you go in and people are happy with you and it’s perfectly fine. And I realized that I didn’t have to be something that I wasn’t. I could remove that mask. I could revel in the joy of life again and find that childlike wonder. And so that was my second tipping point. And from there, it was it’s time for the divorce.
[00:09:49] Krystal: It’s time to move forward. It’s time to really stand in a more authentic space.
[00:09:56] Ryan: So that is one deep and two, many people don’t reflect on life that way they tend to just, the only way to say it is, suck it up buttercup type of thing. And sometimes you just can’t do that. It’s you need change.
[00:10:09] Ryan: You, you need to go after, what your calling is or your passion, whatever it is. You need to do that. How I know you’re being guided and so forth, but how do you get to that point? Or how do you let’s transition where I’m gonna, cause I was just gonna go right into this.
[00:10:25] Ryan: Yeah. Yeah. How do you help people own their shit? How do you get them from where they’re at today? Where I don’t wanna change to holy crap. I need to change because I’m in a really bad place.
[00:10:36] Krystal: So first off, there’s always a moment. There’s always that shifting point.
[00:10:42] Krystal: We don’t want to change if we’re comfortable. Why? Yes. Why? If we’re comfortable, it’s this is free and easy and this is great. So it’s not until there is that shifting point discomfort. That says, oh, maybe I wanna do something different. So I had those moments. I had those moments continually in that marriage, there were continually these irritations and I’m not sure I want this.
[00:11:06] Krystal: And they were constantly nudging me towards change. And I had to recognize in each one of those, what am I contributing to this relationship? How am I, how are my actions affecting his and upsetting him even more or making him happy? How is, how are my reactions feeding into his reactions and how is that volatile?
[00:11:29] Krystal: So now. Because I’ve been through that and recognized, oh buddy, I can help people stop and look at it. You have to be willing to look at it and say, I’m not a victim. I chose into this. It doesn’t mean that you chose all of your pain. It doesn’t mean that you created horrible situations. I am not saying that in any way, shape or form, I am saying that the choices that you make, no matter how small they are help you continue on a specific path, it’s that extra I’m gonna have.
[00:12:03] Krystal: I’m just gonna have dessert tonight when you’re trying to lose weight, instead of I’m gonna have just a bite to satisfy that craving, and then I’m good. It’s I help people recognize their contribution to life, their contribution to their own frustrations. As long as you’re pointing the finger at somebody else.
[00:12:27] Ryan: Hi, I’m laughing because it’s very honest. I’m I don’t mean to cut you off, but it’s yeah, it is very honest. If you can’t hold yourself accountable for your own life, then who else is and that’s, that is a struggle. We all have, and we wanna look I wanna say we look to other places or other people for that, and , it doesn’t work you until you I had a guess on several months ago that talked about your inners must match your outers.
[00:12:57] Ryan: And I was like, okay, we gotta go into this. And I didn’t understand it. At first. I got the gist of the analogy, but it’s like what you want on the inside and what you do on the outside have to match. And if those two don’t match guess what your Sol yeah. And he used A thought process that he does in his coaching, but he started with himself is and it’s morbid is he wrote his own eulogy and he wanted to know what he wanted people to learn.
[00:13:25] Ryan: Or know about him when he died. Yeah. And he says he updates it every year. And it’s very interesting to hear that. And he goes backwards with his life and that’s how he learns to grow and expand, but also go after change when he feels like he’s comfortable. Yeah.
[00:13:42] Krystal: Yeah. I’ve heard of a lot of people who actually do that and I think it’s a beautiful exercise.
[00:13:47] Krystal: It lets us really shift it and see ourselves through other people’s eyes. what do people see when they look at me? And what do people often say? Like people tell me all the time, crystal, you’re so busy, you’re so involved in so many things. Is that what I want people to see? Or do I want them to see something else?
[00:14:07] Krystal: And what do I need to do now to change that? So I wanna jump back for a second, in that pointing that finger to absolutely other people. I recognize that the phrase own your shit is offensive. I recognize that some people are like, that’s that’s abrasive. The thing is a lot of people say yes, everybody else needs to own their shit.
[00:14:29] Krystal: And it’s the people who say, everybody else needs to own their shit that are actually the ones that have more work to do. Because if you are actively saying that person needs to change, that person needs to change. That what’s common denominator. It’s you, yeah. It’s absolutely you. And so everyone who.
[00:14:49] Krystal: Gets their back up and says, Uhuh, that’s Uhuh, everyone else needs to do that. This you’re, you are who we’re talking to take a moment, stop, take a breath and recognize that even you have shit in your past that has fed into who you are in the present and changes your reactions based on who you are with.
[00:15:12] Krystal: And what’s going on in the moment. And if you want other people to change, the only thing you can do is change yourself. What do you want? Where
[00:15:21] Ryan: do you wanna be? Oh, we’re going deep now. You’ve already started the rabbit hole. You’ve already dug the hole. But we gotta back up. Why is own your, why is own your shit?
[00:15:30] Ryan: Abrasive
[00:15:32] Krystal: people. Don’t like the cuss word and people don’t like being told that they need to own it. People do not like to hear that they have an issue. Oh, you’re gonna tell me I have an, oh, bullshit. You back the train. You’re the one who has no. We all have issues. You know what? I’ve got them. I absolutely, in fact, I got triggered last week because of something that happened and I was really frustrated and I was irritated and I wanted to yell at this person and then I had to step back and say, why am I above a three?
[00:16:02] Krystal: Why am I so agitated right now? Oh, this feeds into this. That happened when I was a kid. Oh, I’m reacting to childhood trauma. Oh. So let’s sit with that for a minute and see if I can heal it. As soon as you are above a three and ticked off it’s that don’t tell me what I need to do. Don’t tell me who I need to be.
[00:16:26] Krystal: I get to choose my own stuff. And if I am the way I am, you can suck it up. Yes I
[00:16:32] Ryan: can. But there seems to be more of that today than ever. And I say this I’m not asking your age. I’m old, I’m getting old, I’m pushing 50. And My generation is definitely wired differently than these younger generations.
[00:16:49] Ryan: And I see and hear cuz of the podcast, thank you. I’m blessed that people reach out to me and say, Hey, I like your show. I love what you’re doing. I want to be like you. And I’m like, are you willing to give up five years of your life? Yeah. And they get quiet. And they’re like, what are you talking about?
[00:17:04] Ryan: I eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And to this day I still eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches because when that moment comes, when I need to make sure my family’s taken care of, they’re taken care of first and then I’ll eat the peanut butter and jelly sandwich to make sure things are happening.
[00:17:21] Ryan: If you’re not willing to give that sacrifice up for entrepreneurship or a business or a podcast or whatever, you’re trying to do, get a new job, go back to school, whatever it isn’t ever gonna happen. And people don’t realize that it’s got to be changed and own your shit if you want something.
[00:17:36] Ryan: Yeah, and I digress back to is. Everybody. I don’t know. I say everybody, most people have heard of Gary V he puts out a ton of video, puts out a ton of stuff. And the number one thing he talks about is this. If you want to change, you gotta go do it and put it out there. And he doesn’t say own your shit.
[00:17:55] Ryan: He says the F-word and then adds a little, couple words into it. And it’s real, but people hate on him so much because he speaks, you know what they’re thinking, but their inners don’t match their outers. And we’re back to that again. And it’s just I, sorry. Yeah. Let’s just go right back to the I rabbit hole.
[00:18:13] Krystal: No, you’re good. I don’t mind full circle, baby. We all just, it’s all intertwined. It all comes back together. That a beautiful
[00:18:21] Ryan: thing. And if you can’t tell, I’m very passionate about it because I need a lot of people this way through my other businesses and it’s I can’t help somebody that doesn’t wanna help themselves.
[00:18:30] Ryan: We have a saying that we’ll be here when you’re ready. Period. , that’s just what we do. And how do you handle those type of people when they come to you and they, and whether they’re reaching out for help or whatever the case is, your interaction, how do you help?
[00:18:42] Ryan: How do you work with those individuals?
[00:18:46] Krystal: First thing is the very first thing that I do with any of my clients is I call it the mandala ceremony and we go back to, we find the three things that are blocking you the most. And they’re usually, they’re always patterns that you have created in your life due to some experience that you had as a little child, because of this exercise that I do with every one of my clients right off the bat, it brings you naturally to the understanding that you have the power to change and create the life you wanna live.
[00:19:19] Krystal: And you find the gift in the pain that was there, and then you carry the gift forward, but you heal what was in the past. I’ve had a lot of people who say that’s what I want. I wanna change. And they do the work and we do the fire ceremony and move forward. They never come back. They don’t come back because yeah they wanted to go through those actions and yet they weren’t fully ready and that’s perfectly fine, cuz just like you, I say the same thing I am here when you’re.
[00:19:50] Krystal: I wanna teach you when you’re ready, because it’ll go deeper and further and everything that I teach you, you can take home. You’re not gonna ha I want you to graduate from me so that you now have control of your own life. And you get to say, I’m making this choice and I’m making that choice and I’m making them consciously and I’m making them with intention.
[00:20:09] Krystal: I am not a victim life. Isn’t happening to me. I am choosing to take this step. I am choosing to take that step. There are always going to PE people who say, I want that, and yet they’re not quite ready. And that’s okay, because it’s still a seed that’s planted. It’s yeah, it might be 5, 10, 20 years down the road when they say, oh, I remember when I did that.
[00:20:34] Krystal: And I felt really good. And maybe I’ll go back. Maybe I’ll check in and see if there’s something else that I wanna do that seed can sit there for a long time. There are seeds that are dormant for years. Mine is just an offering. And if you want to take that, and if you want to expand on that and leap and run, I am gonna be thrilled to watch you
[00:20:57] Ryan: do that.
[00:20:59] Ryan: So I gotta ask the question, what gets you, what helps them trigger those three events or those three things in their lives? What do you do with them to get there?
[00:21:08] Krystal: It’s very gentle and I take ’em through a guided meditation. Oh, cool. Yeah. So you’re just comfortable whether you’re sitting on my couch or you’re standing on your head or you’re laying, I have this unbelievably delightful soft white rug in my office and people love to lay on it and feel it.
[00:21:28] Krystal: And yeah, so it’s very gentle, very easy and kind in that moment. And then they get to move forward. They do homework from that.
[00:21:38] Ryan: What about if they’re remote from you? How does that work?
[00:21:42] Krystal: I try to do all of those sessions in person.
[00:21:46] Ryan: So if you have somebody that’s out of state, then you can’t really do that.
[00:21:50] Ryan: I don’t really
[00:21:50] Krystal: do that. Yeah. Because because we do the guided meditation and I could do that and you could do your sticks, but then we do a fire ceremony together. And it’s a very intimate moment where you and I together get to connect on the fact that you are releasing all of this stuff that no longer serves you.
[00:22:05] Krystal: And you are now choosing this new path forward. And not everybody has a fire pit. And in the same aspect, it’s often much easier to go through these kinds of transformations when you’ve removed yourself from everything else in the world. So I want you, I want your focus. I want your presence in that moment, recognizing that this is an investment in you and your future and your joy.
[00:22:37] Krystal: Give yourself that it’s not even give me that it’s give yourself that. And this gift that I give to you, that you give to yourself is gonna be one that you can use over and over. I teach you how to take it home so you can continue going through and removing even more patterns. Cuz once you see one or two of them, you are gonna see them all over the place.
[00:22:58] Krystal: You’re gonna be like, oh God, I always do that. Where does that come from? And now you’re gonna know how to go back and say, oh, it comes from that. So what’s the gift. Why do I do it? How do I heal it now let’s move forward.
[00:23:09] Ryan: I wish we could do that with money cuz that’s the type of people I, I deal with.
[00:23:13] Ryan: I’m serious. I mean they, they have a very toxic relationship with money and there’s things. I can’t solve or help them with ultimately I have to send ’em to a counselor because there’s something deep, deeply rooted in whatever their situation is. And for me, it’s, I’m so simple. It’s okay, let’s talk about it.
[00:23:34] Ryan: Let’s figure out what’s going on. And then let’s yeah. Work through it. And some people just don’t wanna do that. And I’m like, okay here’s a list of counselors we work with use them, not use them, whatever, but we have to get to that point of, okay, what is that problem or those issues that you have with money to get you there?
[00:23:53] Ryan: Because most people I keep on using most. I gotta get out of that. That’s a safe word for me. I just caught something on this guys. If you’re listening, it’s a safe word. Catch me on it. The people that come to us are unbankable to where they can’t go to a traditional bank or go get a car loan.
[00:24:08] Ryan: Any type of traditional credit that you and I take advantage of or think that it’s just normal and they work in this secondary market, that’s just atrocious. Yeah. And they think since they’ve grown up around it and it’s all they know, that’s where their life is. They don’t realize that they can change, but until they get that toxicity out of their lives it, doesn’t it nothing allows them to move forward.
[00:24:31] Ryan: And yeah, unfortunately, sometimes it’s their family and I can’t change that. They have to be willing to change that and that’s tough. It is, it’s heart wrenching. And when I first started doing this, six, eight years ago I was trying to help everybody now. It’s we’ll be here when you’re ready.
[00:24:45] Ryan: I can, I can’t help everybody. It’ll kill me is what it’s gonna do.
[00:24:50] Krystal: Yeah, you throw yourself off balance trying to fix everybody else. And that just doesn’t work either. And you’re absolutely right. It often, it almost always stems back to your upbringing and your parents’ beliefs on money and their parents’ beliefs on money and how that just filters down and through.
[00:25:08] Krystal: And it can even be something absolutely simple. You’ll have people who make six figures, but they can’t actually meet their bills because they have this block in their brain that they never have enough. That never have enough comes from your childhood. There comes, it comes from one or many reaffirming moments that say, Hey, you know what?
[00:25:28] Krystal: This is the way that it is. And you’re never gonna have enough. So you grow up with that belief and then you’re super successful, but you still never have enough. What is that? You gotta go back and heal it. You gotta go back and fix it. Whether that’s with a talk doc, a therapist, a SHA, whatever that is.
[00:25:45] Krystal: I like that
[00:25:45] Ryan: talk doc. I like that. Yeah. I’ve never heard that.
[00:25:49] Krystal: My sister gave it to me and I absolutely love it. Yeah. However it is that you get down to the root of the issue, the root of the pattern that is holding you back. I highly encourage you to do that because you will find that there is something and there is a gift in it.
[00:26:04] Krystal: There is a reason that you learned it and there is, it has served you in some way, shape or form. So let’s honor that gift instead of using it as a bludgeon over our heads, and now we’re free and we get to say, oh no. I always have more than enough. I have more than enough. So now I can bless other people because we stepped back.
[00:26:25] Krystal: We owned our shit. We owned our own contribution into this belief in our life, and then we’ve changed it into immensely better.
[00:26:34] Ryan: Yeah. And yeah it’s, it’s just amazing. The relationships we have and I say relationships cuz it’s plural because we all have different relationships with money, but , here’s some stories about what people have gone through with money and what it means.
[00:26:50] Ryan: And the question I always ask somebody, if I’m gonna help them through that process, coach them, or refer them to somebody is this what’s more valuable time or money and you know what, the funny thing is probably 65, 70% say money and I’m thinking, oh man we could have a philosophical, thought process, invoking process of talking about all this.
[00:27:14] Ryan: And I just say, what, can you get money back? and they get quiet and they’re like, no. Okay. So let me give you another question. I go file bankruptcy tomorrow. Do I get to get money back the next day? And they’re like, yeah. And I’m like now you can get money back and I’m gonna ask you the other question.
[00:27:32] Ryan: Can you get time back? And they’re like, they finally say no. And it like resonates at that point. And I said, the most valuable commodity that you and I have, and everybody on this planet is time because you’re only guaranteed that next 30 or 60 seconds. And that’s not even guaranteed, to keep going.
[00:27:48] Ryan: So every morning we wake up, you gotta be thankful that you’re not pushing up Daisy’s and you’re looking north. So yeah, you’re above the green stuff and you’re able to go out there and do whatever you need to do to grind it out or whatever your thought, your thought processes for the day.
[00:28:04] Ryan: But I also tell them on the inverse side is if you choose to be comfortable and not want to change, that’s your life. But you can’t go around and complain about it. And like you said earlier, I say the same thing. You can’t go blame everybody else for your life. You own it. I don’t typically tell me own your shit, but I think I’m gonna start working on that.
[00:28:22] Ryan: You’ve got me, you’ve got me all fired up because it’s I’m dealing with, I’m dealing with a couple individuals that have come to us and it’s they’re hardheaded. And I know they want change. I just dunno how far I wanna go with them, but I think it’s time to rip the bandaid off and let it bleed a little bit and just say, Hey, if you don’t wanna own your shit, let’s go, you’re, you can go do your thing and come back to me when you’re ready to own it.
[00:28:43] Ryan: But at the end of the day, we all have to own it. And if we don’t, yeah, blame yourself. You can’t blame anybody else around you,
[00:28:51] Krystal: Uhuh, you ask ’em, what’s your contribution in this? What’s your contribution to this situation? What choices.
[00:28:59] Ryan: Another nugget. You gave us another nugget. That’s another good one is what your contribution.
[00:29:03] Ryan: I’m not joking. This is this. What you’re sharing is a lot of things that I talk about and it’s refreshing to have somebody else talking about the same thing, just for the simple fact, it needs to be heard. And we need to understand that, especially with times where we’re at we’re yeah. And I’m not political, whatever we’re divided on that.
[00:29:24] Ryan: But then we also seem to be living through the lens of social media and chasing after the Joneses. And we have to go out and spend all this money and do all this and do that. And there’s not a single thing we go after that is a, an experience. It’s all about things. And how much can I buy and show people that I’m rich when realistically you’re broke as a joke and yeah, you’re living a horrible life.
[00:29:47] Krystal: Yeah. One of my favorite gifts that people give me is time. It’s Hey, amen. I know it’s your, I know it’s your birthday and I didn’t know what to get you. So can we just go out for coffee? Can I buy you tea? Can we go out? And it’s not a movie because you’re just staring at a screen and that is absolutely a perfect moment and ability time, opportunity to get together, but like going to dinner where I can chat with you and I can connect with you and I can say, Hey, how is your life?
[00:30:15] Krystal: And what’s going on for you? And time that moment where I get to connect with another human being on a very deep level, instead of that soft surfacey. Hey, how are you doing? I’m good. How are you? Great. How are the kids? Great. Okay see you later. Let’s move on. No. What’s really going on for you.
[00:30:34] Krystal: How’s work. How’s life. How are the kids really doing? Are they scared about school? Are they excited about school? Like that connection is such
[00:30:43] Ryan: a gift. And you know what? That doesn’t happen a lot nowadays because we’re so tied into our cell phones. Yeah. And by all means, I’m not saying social media is an evil on all fronts because no, I wouldn’t have been able to get my voice out there and have people begging.
[00:31:03] Ryan: And I say, begging, I shouldn’t say that wanting to come on this show I say, be my choice of words are bad today. I need more coffee. It’s true. I bad choice of words here. We’re slapping ourselves. Hey,
[00:31:13] Krystal: he’s owning his shit. Did you see that? He just owned it?
[00:31:16] Ryan: I just owned it. And for you listening, I just slapped myself saying I need to own my shit, but we don’t like at the dinner table.
[00:31:23] Ryan: People I’ll go out to dinner with my girlfriend or my family or whatever. And we all put our cell phones away and everything, and we wanna have a healthy conversation. And then we look around. And you see these families all on their cell phones and I’m not just talking about the kids, the parents, no.
[00:31:37] Ryan: Are all on their cell phone and not a single person. Excuse me. Single person is conversing. That’s sad. Yeah. That tells us
[00:31:45] Krystal: go, yeah, it breaks my heart to see a couple that’s out on a date. And one of them is stuck to their phone and the other one’s just looking around. Yeah. Wishing that they were a little more important to the person across the table.
[00:32:00] Krystal: It’s, set those phone. There was, there are a lot of tips and tricks. Some people put all their phones in the middle of the table and you can’t touch it. If you touch your phone, then you’re the one that’s paying for dinner kind of thing. I’ve seen that times. Yeah. I tell people that I’m in a meeting.
[00:32:15] Krystal: If I’m going out for coffee with a friend, I literally tell my husband. Yeah. I have a meeting today from 11 to two. Oh, you do. Yeah. What’s your meeting about? Oh, I’m having coffee with Beth, but because it’s a meeting, he doesn’t try to bother me. He recognizes that’s what’s going on and I’m not gonna be looking at my phone.
[00:32:35] Krystal: So I tell the most important people that are right there in my life that I am setting an intention that for these few hours, I am not available and I’m not available because I’m intentionally connecting with somebody else. It’s that added purpose behind what we’re doing that thought. Yeah.
[00:32:56] Ryan: But where have we gone wrong with that?
[00:32:58] Ryan: And I ask this is because technology has caused this. I don’t know. There’s so many things we could go down. We could have a four hour conversation on this, but ultimately we’ve lost that piece and it’s. We’re recording this podcast. I have everything in my office turned off, cuz I don’t want to be disturbed.
[00:33:16] Ryan: I could tell you my phone’s probably going off, but it’s on do not disturb. I don’t care. This is our time to talk and connect and do all that stuff. And it’s fun. We don’t do this enough. And it’s like a pandemic happened, took that away from us and we’re like clamoring to get out.
[00:33:31] Ryan: But we didn’t realize that we were so stuck on technology that we needed to reconnect with ourselves in loved ones that we just go right back to our old adage of back on our cell phones at dinner or whatever the case is. We’re not connecting mono and mono or however you wanna say that. Yeah.
[00:33:50] Krystal: I think that the pandemic did a lot of things.
[00:33:53] Krystal: And socially I’ve heard a lot of D. Takes on it, because for me, I used to think that I was very much an extrovert and I wanted to be the life of the party yet through the pandemic, I recognized I’m more of an introvert and I prefer the one on one because I really get to go deeper with you as a human being.
[00:34:12] Krystal: And as a connection that I’m wanting to foster and grow other people, they realized how much they needed more people. They needed to be around people. And the way that we were able to do that is through our phones and connecting and texting or zooming and FaceTiming or through social media, we as humans, it is a human need to be approved of.
[00:34:38] Krystal: We need approval and we need connection. Yes, that’s just the way it is generally speaking, we need our own approval. And yet we most often seek that approval from external to reaffirm our internal. Voice saying no. It’s okay. You’re of value. You mean something, you have purpose, that kind of thing.
[00:35:01] Krystal: Social media feeds that need social media when you’re getting the likes and the follows and all of that stuff, all these people are validating us. They’re letting us know, Hey yeah, you matter. And we’re really good. And so it’s given us that artificial connection and I, I don’t mean that in a negative way.
[00:35:18] Krystal: I say artificial because it’s through the computer. It’s not necessarily one-on-one talking with somebody it’s still a very valid
[00:35:25] Ryan: you say artificial, can we back up and we can go back and forth and banter a little bit? Is it sure? Is it truly, think about it or I add a nuance and then you answer it.
[00:35:34] Ryan: You have all these likes, you have all these shares and we get all excited. But what happens when we have somebody crap on us, on a social media post, what happens?
[00:35:43] Krystal: And that’s why I say artificial though, because often times,
[00:35:46] Ryan: no, I haven’t gone far enough yet. So when someone craps on your social media post, what happens, we get all down on the dumps and stuff like that.
[00:35:53] Ryan: But what happens if you tune out the highs and the lows and you’re just you and you keep on going down the road, what happens? You tune out the haters, you tune out the likes and you just keep going. , that’s a novel concept that I have very I hear very few people talk about there’s two people. I know that.
[00:36:09] Ryan: Talk about it. Gary V is one and he pushes that huge. And there’s another gentleman that was on my podcast that actually took care of that Donald. And he just, he hammered it home that, yeah, if you’re gonna go out on social media and you’re gonna put stuff out there because you’re trying to grow your business, grow your personal brand.
[00:36:28] Ryan: You can’t take the highs and the lows and work those extreme polls. You have to stay in the middle and just keep trucking, be thankful for the likes and the shares. Be thankful for the haters equally and see what they have to say, but you can’t let them control you. Otherwise you go nowhere. It
[00:36:45] Krystal: boils down to what’s your purpose behind doing the social media?
[00:36:50] Krystal: Are you doing it because you need that personal boost and that reassurance, or are you doing that because that’s who you are and what you are about, because if you’re doing it for your own personal reassurance and validation, then the haters are gonna hurt you. The likes are gonna really help you out and you’re gonna be on this rollercoaster all over the place.
[00:37:14] Krystal: And that’s all because you yourself have not owned your shit and found your true, authentic, inner being right. If you are out there because you are trying to build a brand and you are trying to help people and change the world in your own little corner or worldwide, whatever that is, if you have that purpose and that reason behind it, it’s much easier to say, oh, that hater it’s okay, love you.
[00:37:38] Krystal: You might have a little shit to own. And those likes, thank you. I appreciate that. And I love and support you in your journey. And I’m just gonna keep being me here in the middle. We, I was, I mentioned artificial and it’s the it’s you don’t really know those people, so they’re not a real true connection.
[00:37:58] Krystal: You couldn’t really put a face if you were out on, if you were going to the grocery store, you wouldn’t know, Hey, you’re frost giant. Gotcha, baby. Nice to see you. Hey, nobody’s asking you for your autographs and whatnot, because it’s not a real true, authentic. Connection that’s there.
[00:38:15] Krystal: Yeah,
[00:38:15] Ryan: it’s I, this is the funny part of all this in the last several weeks I started, my girlfriend says, you know what? Your content’s getting a little sta and I’m on thinking, what are you talking about stale? I’m putting out three or four posts a day and it’s different clips from the podcast or from me or whatever.
[00:38:30] Ryan: And she goes, when, stale is, you’re not doing shorts and I’m like shorts, like in like Instagram and Facebook. And she goes, yeah, then, oh, sorry, reels. And then shorts on YouTube. And I’m like, okay, I’ve seen ’em. I know them, blah, blah, blah, whatever . So she’s you need to start putting some out and start teasing the podcast and talking about the things you do on the other side.
[00:38:49] Ryan: And I’m like, okay, I’ll start doing it. I started doing it two weeks ago and, going through it, whatever. And I’m trying to find a different message that I can put out there. The funny thing is. I have more people hating on the words that I put out on my reels than anything.
[00:39:03] Ryan: It’s you know what? I’m on the right topic. And my girlfriend goes, what are you talking about? If people are hating on my message about change, that means they’re struggling with that. And they, it resonates with them and they don’t wanna hear it. But the funny thing is they like the video. They like the shorter, the, or the reels and then they leave a nasty comment.
[00:39:23] Ryan: I love it. It fueled me to put more out there. Yep.
[00:39:28] Krystal: I love the way that you look at that. I love the way you . Huh? I love your point of view on how that hater actually it resonated with them in some way. I got a little under their skin and because I got under that skin, I’m gonna keep doing it cuz I’ll get under more people’s skin.
[00:39:43] Krystal: And when you’re under more people’s skin, they’re gonna remember you. Oh my gosh, that Ryan dude. Holy crap. Isn’t he? But then people are talking about you and they’re talking about your shift and your change and your message. And it’s a gift instead of a, Ugh, I can’t handle that, but that’s your purpose.
[00:39:59] Ryan: Right? And that’s my purpose and I enjoy change. And I’m not afraid to put, messages out there. If people hate it, great. If they like it great too. But at the end of the day it’s what I’m passionate about. And that’s what I do. Yeah. And the podcasts are that way too.
[00:40:12] Ryan: And it’s people don’t realize if you find that passion and you put your message out there, you’re happy. You’re in the right place in life and you continue to evolve and get yourself in a better place. But when you start listening to those highs and lows, they got you and controlled you and you cannot, the only way I know how to describe it is was it about two and a half, three years ago?
[00:40:36] Ryan: I put out a video so two years ago. Yeah. It’s about during it’s during, pandemic COVID that stuff, blah, blah, blah. And I was putting videos out of video, out about PPP and some different business stuff. And I was walking through some of the bills and literally sharing my screen as the bills were coming out.
[00:40:54] Ryan: And I had people coming on saying, you don’t know what you’re talking about. This is not gonna pass and this and that. And they kept on going back and forth and bantering. I’m just like listening, whatever the on or the icing on the cake here. I really didn’t care because I was sharing some information and ultimately was able to help other people struggling businesses that needed money.
[00:41:13] Ryan: Yeah. Realistically needed money to get there. And one of those, two of those one, and then second one came along, people that were hating about the bill and how much it was so crappy and so forth reached out to me personally and thanked me afterwards and said, Hey, I’m sorry. I was so harsh on you about what you were sharing.
[00:41:31] Ryan: You were just trying to help you. Weren’t trying to, they felt I was playing down the bill or whatever the case is. And I’ve always told people whether you’re a Republican Democrat, independent, I don’t care. I honestly think all, unfortunately, all politicians are in it for one thing, money. So that’s life.
[00:41:49] Ryan: That’s just who I am, but the end result was it was nice to connect with these individuals on a phone call and really understand who they were and why they were so upset. And it ended up being, they were upset is because they were turned down for a PPP. And they didn’t know how to go through that process.
[00:42:06] Ryan: And I started explaining the process to ’em and ultimately one got the able ability to get another loan or get approved for a loan. The other one had to go through an approval a approval process and then a denial and then another approval process. And finally got it. It was cool. It’s just one of those things, but I didn’t let life get me down and say, okay, I’m gonna stop doing these because I had haters out there.
[00:42:25] Ryan: It just, I digressed again. Sorry. I always put it out there. Another rabbit hole. . It is. It’s just I get a, I get happy about these things because it’s truly life and it’s how you handle it and how you react to these things that happen to you. Yeah. How do you with your clients and so forth, how do you have, how do you help them get through those type of moments when they have those situations happen to them in life?
[00:42:49] Krystal: I’m a storyteller. So I help them recognize that they’re not alone, that other people have gone through it. And because other people have gone through it, they can go through it too. And they can come out better, brighter, happier on the other side. It’s okay. What’s there. Why are you reacting? What are you reacting to?
[00:43:09] Krystal: And then how do you wanna shift that? How do you wanna change that? We all, it’s
[00:43:16] Krystal: taking that moment to step back and recognize that this wall that’s in front of us is not actually a brick wall that is in like you, you can’t break it down. It’s you can step around it. It’s just a wall right there. There might even be a door in the wall taking a moment to step back, see it from a different perspective and recognize that you’re not the only.
[00:43:36] Krystal: There are probably haters. There are definitely haters on every single platform they like to do it just cause they like to do it. There are trolls they’re and they, a lot of people just don’t understand what your message fully is. And so take a moment and come back to center, come back to you, come back to your authentic, inner being
[00:44:02] Ryan: that’s easier said than done.
[00:44:07] Krystal: sorry. It’s like going to the gym. You have to build that muscle. That’s just it though. If you take a moment to figure out who you are, where you’re at, what your true inner personal belief beliefs are like, where you stand in life on all the different subject, where are you at? Who are you? If you take that moment and recognize who you are, then when those other voices come into your head and say I’m not good enough.
[00:44:33] Krystal: You’re gonna be able to stop and say am I not good enough? That’s bullshit because quite frankly, I can do this, and this, which means that I am good enough because I’m educated and able to give this information to people I’m able to teach people. I’m able to help people. You start recognizing what is your voice, which is always this loving, supportive, being this voice that says, yeah, you’ve totally got this every time you think I can do that.
[00:44:59] Krystal: That is you. That is your authentic, absolute you. And every time you think I can’t do that because that’s somebody else’s voice that is society that is growing up. That is parents. That is your other kids in school and whatnot. That is a different voice. That is not yours. Trying to keep you in a box. Do you wanna listen to that?
[00:45:18] Krystal: Or do you wanna start listening to the positive one? That’s gonna uplift you and encourage you and help you be on the right path. And it’s a muscle that you have to work with. And I tell people all the time, argue the shit out of it, argue with it. The next time you think I like that the next time you think I’m stupid?
[00:45:34] Krystal: Oh, bullshit. I graduated. I did this. I’ve done that. I am actually really smart. And even if you didn’t go to school like college or whatnot, I have all of this life knowledge. , I’m very smart. I’m world smart. I know how to do this. I know how to do that. So I’m a smart person and shut up. I’m not stupid or I’m ugly.
[00:45:54] Krystal: Oh, bullshit. I’m beautiful. I love my eyes. I love this about me and I love how I’m so giving to other people. And I love that I’m compassionate. I am a very beautiful person. So you can just shut up and I’m gonna listen to this one over here, because this one is where I wanna be. So argue with that negative voice in your head, and that will help you create this super high of positivity.
[00:46:17] Krystal: That is actually your inner truth, your reality, your authentic being, and it.
[00:46:27] Ryan: Another truth bomb that comes out, that I’m gonna have to steal somehow
[00:46:33] Ryan: and it could lead us down another rabbit hole because when you’re arguing the crap out of it, how often are you winning versus losing? And that’s just a whole nother, that’s a whole nother topic because a lot of people that, another safe word a lot, gotta get that out too. Think about it.
[00:46:51] Ryan: Change is tough and you’re arguing the crap out of whatever. Let’s say I’m ugly. And I don’t wanna be on camera and I don’t wanna do this and I don’t wanna do that. It takes a lot of work to say, okay, I’m gonna get over that and get on camera and start doing whatever you wanna do.
[00:47:08] Ryan: How yeah. Think
[00:47:11] Krystal: about arguing about. Think about I don’t have enough or I can’t do this really. You can’t make that much. Are you kidding me? Let’s argue with that. I can make that much because I can do this and I could do this and I could do this, which then starts building a business plan.
[00:47:25] Krystal: Oh, I can do this. And I can make more because I have the ability to do this. Arguing with it completely changes your mindset. It changes it from a victim and a I’m not to an, I am. I can, how am I gonna do this?
[00:47:40] Ryan: I’m with you, cuz I have those arguments on a daily basis with myself. I’ve got some lofty goals that I’m trying to accomplish and I fight with them.
[00:47:47] Ryan: I fight with myself every single day on them and I’m still struggling with them. I have to figure out my way I’m by no means a professional marketer and I struggle with marketing and they always say, do what you love and what you’re best at and hand everything off. I’m also a. Of the ilk and the person that I will do all the grunt work and learn the grunt work before I pass it off to somebody else.
[00:48:08] Ryan: And that’s where I’m at is and marketing and growing and scaling our coaching business is something I want to do and I am doing, but it’s a struggle. The marketing is a real pain in the ass, to be honest. Yeah. And getting the right message out there as me as the face of it. Yeah, it’s a struggle because a lot of people, and there he is, again, a lot people, don’t, people don’t resonate with somebody that’s just straightforward.
[00:48:36] Ryan: And I, at times don’t have a filter. And when I say filter as in I don’t sugar coat it. If you’re coming to me through my referral business, you’re typically at a bottom to where you’re one gonna lose your business. Two, potentially gonna lose your license, whether you’re be a doctor or an attorney or three, you’re just don’t understand your relationship with.
[00:48:57] Ryan: and yeah, those individuals get me because they’re the same way. It’s the individuals that come to me through our nonprofit or through some other channels that we’re working on for marketing that yeah. Don’t realize that they are at a point in their life, a very pivotal point in their life for change.
[00:49:16] Ryan: It’s either gonna be a four letter word to them or not. And that’s where I struggle. And I fight with myself on a daily basis to have a better grasp of individuals that come to us and be able to give them a little bit of sugar coating, but also the same. Timem when I have to tell ’em you need to own your shit.
[00:49:34] Ryan: Yeah.
[00:49:35] Krystal: The thing is that people who are ready for your work and who will really click with you and who will, who really benefit from what you have to offer are going to be attracted to the less sugar, more straight shooter. That’s what they want. That’s what they need. Life is up a buffet. When we have a need, we’re gonna go to the buffet and we’re gonna look at all these different things.
[00:49:59] Krystal: And we’re gonna say you know what? I like this. And I like that. And I like that, but I’m gonna leave the rest because I really don’t need it. And what works for me is not gonna work for you is not gonna work for someone else. And yet there will be other things like we might both love Ambrosia we might both love this one thing over here, like owning your shit.
[00:50:16] Krystal: We’re gonna love that. But we may be completely on different ends when it comes to politics or any religion or any other kind of thing. We all get to enjoy. That’s why we get to pick what we want. We get to leave the rest and we get to respect that there are other people who love sunflower seeds on their salad.
[00:50:35] Krystal: Whereas I may say, hell no. . It’s really cool when you look at it that way. And I get to say, you know what? There are gonna pee people on social media who absolutely resonate with mine. I am giving them a part of the buffet that they are thrilled to be receiving. And then the other people. Okay you don’t have to eat potatoes salad, cuz not everybody likes that so I can let you go.
[00:51:00] Krystal: I can respect it. I like potato salad, especially with eggs and a little extra mustard in it personally. I think it’s pretty good. So we can be in the same realm. We can both be on the salad bar. We can both enjoy that. And yet I don’t wanna, I really don’t want to work with the people who do not resonate with me at all, because it’s gonna be like pulling teeth.
[00:51:20] Krystal: It’s gonna be uncomfortable and frustrating and change does not happen. If you are not comfortable with the person that’s teaching you.
[00:51:27] Ryan: Yes. Your walls. Go ahead. Go ahead. No, go ahead. I’m just you’re you’re you’re you’re you’re you’re you’re speaking all the right words and you’re speaking my English it’s it’s just all good.
[00:51:38] Ryan: That is just awesome.
[00:51:39] Krystal: Yeah. With me, I create the most calming, protective, safe space that I can give to my clients because of the type of change that I am asking them to do. It’s deep change. Any time that we are changing and we are seeking out whatever it is on that buffet to help us change. We need to be comfortable with that person.
[00:52:00] Krystal: We need to be comfortable with the way that they’re working with the way that they’re talking to us with what they’re teaching. Otherwise, we are not going to embrace what they have to say. We are not going to apply it, and we are not going to be able to move forward. And you honestly, I gotta tell you, if you feel like you have to change yourself for every client that comes through that.
[00:52:18] Krystal: You are not at your best. You are constantly questioning who you are, what you’re doing, what you’re saying, whether or not this is good enough. Do I need to shift this? Do I need to shift that? Which is a disservice to the person that’s sitting in front of you. So we all need to find who we can and help each other and grow with each other and say, yes, I am really thrilled that I was able to help you because we jive so well.
[00:52:42] Krystal: And I recognize that I can’t help you. However, I know somebody else that might be able to talk your language a little bit better, so I’m gonna refer you to somebody else. And I that’s an area that I think a lot of us see a lot, I think in our own, see in our own realms. I think that it’s easy to want to be in our box and not have anybody take our clients.
[00:53:04] Krystal: And yet it would be a better service to humanity. If we were more open and said, you know what? I recognize that you and I don’t jive. So I want to refer you to somebody else, but I have to know that somebody else to be able to refer. I have to know somebody else. I have to know what they do and why their way of approaching something is different than my way of approaching something.
[00:53:29] Krystal: Cause the reality is we’re all here trying to help each other. Those of us who are on podcasts and teaching and influencers and whatnot, we’re all trying to build up and improve the quality of life. And yet the only way we can do that is making sure that people meet up on the levels that they are ready and able to meet up and learn and change and shift to a higher
[00:53:50] Ryan: way of being amen.
[00:53:53] Ryan: What a great way to end the show. Gini Christmas, that was so deep, but also so straightforward. And when I’m, what I’m really getting to is collaboration is not a bad thing. And sometimes people think that collaboration is horrible, but if there’s somebody that can help somebody else better than I can.
[00:54:12] Ryan: I’m all for it. And I’m learning in this podcast space is a lot of the collaborations, again, a lot. Geez. I gotta go through it. Many other podcasters or guests that I’ve had on are willing to help, me grow the podcast or want me to come on theirs or share. It’s just a great collaboration piece.
[00:54:33] Ryan: And it’s if we take more of a view of collaboration and be able to break it up and put it into each of ours each of ours wheelhouse or strength how much growth could we all experience and be able to help more people in whatever situation they’re in or whatever our specialty is. It’s just a different way to look at it.
[00:54:54] Ryan: And it doesn’t mean it’s bad. It doesn’t have to be four letters. It means as you’re growing as a human being, you’re growing as an entrepreneur or a business owner, but you’re also helping others through whatever life. MIS or life situations they have going on. Yeah. Yep. It’s man. We could keep on going.
[00:55:14] Ryan: We’ll have to talk about coming back and start talking some more crystal. How can everyone get ahold of you? I know you’re are you only taking clients in Colorado?
[00:55:24] Krystal: We’re just coming out of the whole COVID whatnot and right now, I’ve had a lot of clients actually travel here to work with me anyway.
[00:55:33] Krystal: Okay. But we have a ton of different ways that you can connect with me and not have to really spend a lot. So we have the I’m at crystal jacobowsky on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube. There are a ton of free guided meditations and inspirations on my YouTube channel. And then I also have an online course that’s called intro to you.
[00:55:51] Krystal: And it helps you dive into the four bodies that you have, which are your spiritual, your mental, your physical, and emotional, and there’s guided meditations and journaling, all sorts of stuff in there that you can use to connect with your own path and where you wanna be. And then we do have a couple of courses that you can go to my website, crystal kowski.com and dive into.
[00:56:13] Krystal: So there are lots of different ways and you can go from free to in person and having unbelievable transf transformative moments.
[00:56:23] Ryan: I will link your website and whatever else we do in the show notes. So people can have that. And then, yeah. I’m sure we’ll be hitting social media, so we’ll have no problem sharing all that stuff out so that’ll work and get yourself, get your name out there.
[00:56:35] Ryan: But also I wanna I’ll joke aside. I really want to thank you for coming on because it’s been a healthy conversation and you’ve provided a different perspective, but the piece that I really love is own your shit is huge because we just don’t and it resonates with me. And we’ll connect afterwards and see what we can do to have you come on again or do something different and be able to get some people involved in that piece, cuz it’s we all need it.
[00:57:00] Ryan: We all need it on a daily basis. You gotta own it. If you don’t own it, you’re going nowhere. The fact of the matter
[00:57:06] Krystal: is that as soon as you start owning it, you find more personal peace because you recognize the why behind the what, why am I reacting this way? What happened? And then you stop reacting and you start living.
[00:57:21] Krystal: It’s freeing. It’s amazing. So I just encourage everyone own your shit in the most loving, compassionate way you possibly can, and your life will change.
[00:57:31] Ryan: Amen to that. Crystal. Thank you for coming on honor. Great, healthy conversation. I love what you have to say and definitely would have you back on again.
[00:57:41] Ryan: Thank you so
[00:57:42] Krystal: much for having me your delight. Thank you.