About Our Guest
Barry’s ability to locate and define his true purpose in assisting others began in 2015.
The Inspiration Barry absorbed one fateful day at a cemetery led him to write and publish a #1 Best Selling book on Amazon. His book, The 11 Master Secrets to Business Success and Personal Fulfilment, outlines the 11 areas that intersect economic freedom with personal fulfillment.
We have a special guest this week on the Chasing Financial Freedom podcast. Barry Nicolaou is here to discuss his book The 11 Master Secrets to Business Success and Personal Fulfilment.
Barry’s ability to locate and define his true purpose in assisting others began in 2015. The inspiration Barry absorbed one fateful day at a cemetery led him to write and publish a #1 best-selling book on Amazon. His book outlines the 11 areas that intersect economic freedom with personal fulfillment.
In this episode, you’ll hear:
-How Barry came up with the idea for his book
-The story behind how he published it (and how he did it all while working full time)
-How to discover your life purpose
Looking to Share Your Story? Be a Guest on the Show
Live Your Life-The Mindset to Achieve Your Goals with Barry Nicolaou
[00:00:00] Ryan: Hey guys, Ryan DeMent. From Chasing Financial Freedom Podcast. I hope you guys are having a great day. Today on the podcast. We. We have Barry Nicolaou. Barry is all about the science of how thoughts become things. And I joke about it, but if. We don’t have positive thoughts on a daily basis how are we going to achieve the things in life And we’re going to discuss a little bit further in the podcast But it’s three times easier to have a negative thought than a positive thought I’ll leave on that Barry Welcome into the show.
[00:00:41] Barry: Ryan, thank you so much for having me. It means so much to be on your show.
[00:00:46] Ryan: Cool. Thank you, sir. So I will tell the listeners and the Watchers that it is. 5:37 AM Friday your morning. So thank you for getting up so early.
[00:00:57] Barry: No, no problem. As we were saying before, the cast I operate sharpest in the morning, so I’m grateful for the conversation. It’s good. Cool. Yeah.
[00:01:04] Ryan: So could you tell everybody a little bit about yourself and what’s going on with
[00:01:07] Ryan: you?
[00:01:08] Barry: Absolutely. First of all, how long do you have
[00:01:11] Barry: Because it could go on a bit, but I’ll try and keep it short and. So for me the story began about seven years ago. It was 2015. And I was in the shoe industry at the time selling shoes to retailers. So I was in wholesale and I was on my way to an appointment. The reason I’m telling you this story is to give you context about where I’m at and where I’m going and what led me here.
[00:01:34] Barry: So get a cup of coffee ready and have a listen. So I was on my way to this appointment and I get a phone call in the car saying, Barry, I’m running late. Can you delay me an hour? And I’m like, no problem. I can do that. And Ryan the thing that happened next was quite surreal. I felt like my casted itself into this beautifully appointed cemetery.
[00:01:52] Barry: In the Northwestern suburbs of Sydney. And I dunno anyone that’s buried there. I have no connection to this place. I just wanted to more or less feel like I wanted to kill the hour. And as I’m driving down these big, beautiful wide open roads, big kind of piece of trees, blue sky day, it was just a gorgeous day.
[00:02:08] Barry: Like I pulled over and I started walking amongst these graves looking at the stones and looking at the years where people. People were born and people died. And then you looked at how old people were when they passed away. And you start to get a little bit of a perspective on life because people just don’t die.
[00:02:25] Barry: When they’re 80 and 90 and frail, you got 20 year olds, 30 year olds, 40 year olds in those graveyards as well. And it brings a lot of perspective. Cause at the time I was 35 and I’m like, there was 35 year olds were under my. More or less, and it gives you a sense of morality. And after that I was in a place I’m just trying to think back.
[00:02:44] Barry: I was in a place of surrender. I was in a place of not really being fulfilled in the shoe industry. I was in a place of, I was earning good money and I was providing for my family and the rest of it. And it felt good. But there was a yearning in me that wasn’t quite being fulfilled. And I wasn’t sure what that.
[00:03:01] Barry: So I just LT back against my car and I closed my eyes for a few seconds. And the next thing that happened was quite scary and quite surreal. And I used to be embarrassed to talk about this, but now I don’t really care. Like I’m past that. I felt three words bombard me on a level that wasn’t quite like the dialogue we’re speaking about today.
[00:03:20] Barry: It was on a soul based level. And I didn’t quite know how to take that because I’ve never experienced communication in that way before. So those three words were live your life. And I thought, wait man that’s cool, if you wanna give me something, give me the lottery numbers.
[00:03:36] Barry: If you wanna really give me, some sort of sign here, give me some cool stuff. Anyway. So I got back in my car. Didn’t think any much more of it. Live my life, not a big epiphany, don’t know what to do with that. So I went home that night, went to. I had a drum at 3:00 AM that woke me up and the word your was highlighted in my brain, right?
[00:03:55] Barry: Live your life. Don’t live a. And pertaining to somebody else’s version of what you should do live a life that is true to you, your sense of who you are as a person, like a purpose based existence. And I started writing at that point. I got out, I jumped outta bed and I just started writing about the things that lit me up, the things that really truly inspired me.
[00:04:16] Barry: And that looked really cool because I looked at people that came from failure, from people that came from ultimate failure to then ultimate success and how they did it and what the mindset was and how they actually accomplished this, that turned into a yearlong affair of 6:00 AM mornings.
[00:04:30] Barry: And after the 12 month mark, I had this thing that looked like a manuscript. And then I’m thinking, oh, wow. If this was a book, this would be super cool. And then I’m like, I know nobody in the publishing industry. I know no one that’s actually in there with, I don’t know any authors, I, at that point in my life and then Ryan, I get this weird message on Facebook.
[00:04:50] Barry: It was an ad that said we publish books. If you have a manuscript, we’d love to hear from you. And I’m like, that’s random. How on earth does that happen? All of a sudden I met with this publisher. We had a campaign on Amazon. We got to number one in six countries and 19 categories. And as they say, the rest is history and I guess what this has taught me.
[00:05:12] Barry: And if anyone wants to take away something from this surreal conversation, is that when you are on purpose and when you are on target for who God intended for you to. The green lights happen often and they happen quickly and the right people enter your life. And it will also go as far as to say the right people, exit your life.
[00:05:33] Barry: There are people that there’s stale energy man, and there’s friendships that serve that no longer serve you or who you are becoming. And for me, that was a massive shift because there were people in my life that, that were just happy. In the next 20 years doing what they did yesterday.
[00:05:50] Barry: . And I’ve found out that’s not who I was. So you start to align yourself, you start to align your thoughts and your actions with people who are reaching and stretching and looking for themselves. And looking to reach out for themselves in other people and just to be that sort of person that, that they’re yearning to be.
[00:06:07] Barry: So in, in a short way, that’s actually in a very short story. That’s actually what happened to me seven years ago. And today, we’ve had the pandemic since then much of my work is translated into corporates. So wellbeing and wellness for corporations. We’ve got a couple of government contracts in Sydney.
[00:06:23] Barry: It’s wild where this is going. But. I used to help people with one to one work. I still do that. I’ve got between 12 to 13 clients every month that I hope out one to one that I can dedicate time to. But much of my work is done now with corporations. So it’s exciting in one respect, but the most exciting part of it is this when you are living your day in the service of people and you’re leaving the planet in a much better space than how you found it.
[00:06:48] Barry: There’s no greater fulfillment than that for me anyway. And if you can live your life based on that sort of understanding it’s not just about Monday to Friday, man. It’s not just about earning money and getting to the weekend, it’s not about that for me. It’s about, you’ve been given this scenario.
[00:07:04] Barry: How do you better it? How do you make it more exciting? For you and the people around you. So that’s a, that’s the short version of a very long seven year process.
[00:07:13] Barry: well, that is a very cool journey, but it also brings up something else. Yeah. I, you’ve never told me this journey. We’ve had some other conversations and so forth.
[00:07:22] Barry: Yeah. The funny thing is I started the other day putting out some reels on Facebook and Instagram about change. Yeah. And you know what the topic. Tell me people leaving and coming into your life when it’s right. When you found what you’re looking for. And I had no idea, we were gonna talk about this and it’s that’s crazy because it’s something I talk about a lot in changes, something we all struggle with in different ways.
[00:07:50] Barry: Yeah. But in the. The exact same topic you just talked about and how your journey went. I’m actually starting that journey with putting reels out. That’s
[00:08:00] Barry: fantastic, man. Crazy.
[00:08:02] Ryan: It’s that is cool. But also it’s
[00:08:05] Barry: somewhat weird. You know what Ryan, it’s interesting because I’ve understood something and this is what I’m writing.
[00:08:12] Barry: I’ve got a book coming out in November called move the mountain. And that book is looking at the science of how thought become things, how thoughts become things. And it may not be what most people expect. And I don’t I don’t know if this makes any sense, but. When you’re in a position to understand what great masters in the last 2000 years have always spoken about and that the human race is just stubborn in absorbing.
[00:08:36] Barry: Is that anything that you think is a possibility that you fertilize with emotion? Becomes a probability and anything that becomes a probability becomes part of your existence, right? Eventually. So you think to yourself, if thought creates things, then God, man, I must be very careful about what I absorb in my psyche.
[00:08:58] Barry: What goes in here?
[00:08:59] Ryan: I have to interrupt you just really quick. Try the man. Go ahead. The exact again, this is another one of those coincidences that I can’t. Thoughts become things. It’s on my board. I look that way. It’s on my whiteboard and that is exactly what I live by on a daily basis.
[00:09:12] Ryan: Wow. Thoughts become
[00:09:13] Barry: It’s so true. And the universe has put us in in, in conversation today and I’ll tell you why it’s because we are a vibrational match. Like we are singing the same song. And if does attract if you can buy that, like attracts like then the same people.
[00:09:28] Barry: And if you look at life, if you look at angry people, they tend to find other angry. And if you find passionate people, they tend to gravitate towards passionate people. And if you’re a singer, you’ll gravitate to other singers. And if you’re a smoker you’ll gravitate to other smokers, it’s almost like it’s almost like you gravitate to what you’re passionate about.
[00:09:45] Barry: And then life clusters, these people together and says you are the same and you’re the same. And you’re the same. And Ryan, we’re the same in some respect as well. Cause we’re talking right now and the universe put together. Yes, but what’s really. Which really interesting if you look at I keep going back to Einstein whenever I need proof of something.
[00:10:01] Barry: And I look at his philosophies as well as Einstein’s scientific endeavors that everyone knows about the theory of relativity and how Einstein is one of the greatest minds of the last 150 years. But he had a saying that not many people know about it’s probably the least known Einstein quote and he had this quotation of saying.
[00:10:18] Barry: That the most important decision that every human being must make. Like they must make this decision, is whether they believe they live in a toxic universe or whether they believe they live in a friendly universe. he says, you’ve gotta make that distinction in your mind every morning you get up.
[00:10:33] Barry: And if you think about what’s going on here, it’s quite surreal, right? Like on a subconscious level. Because if you’ve got, if you’re sitting at a dinner party and you’ve got six people on your left, Ryan, and they all argue that the world is a toxic place and they cite examples, they go, the war in Ukraine, they just look at COVID.
[00:10:50] Barry: They look at divorces happening. They look at people dying premature, and they’re going well, Barry, it’s toxic look at these. And then you got people on the right hand side of the table. And those people are actually saying Barry, I think the world’s pretty friendly and here’s why, and they talk about marriages getting back together and they talk about babies surviving cancer, and they talk about jobs and opportunities and love interests that are being found.
[00:11:12] Barry: And they go, know, I dunno how that happened, I think the world’s a friendly place. And then you ask yourself, Ryan, you’re in the middle. Then you ask yourself who’s right. And who’s wrong. And man, you come to a realization that they’re both correct? Yep. Like they are both living physical realities based on what they think and believe to be true.
[00:11:30] Barry: So if you are the type of person that goes I believe that I can earn a million dollars a year through a coaching business. If you’re the type of person and you go, you know what I, the people, the resources, the situations, and the circumstances are out there for me to grab and the universe will align the right people to me, for me to get.
[00:11:47] Barry: Then all of a sudden, dude, you are earning that sort of money, like not before long. And then the next person sitting next to you will say I’m earn, I’m earning 60,000 a year. And I think I’m gonna go for a job at 65,000 because that’s a big $5,000 increase now for them, it might be a big increase, but man their potential could be a million dollars if that’s what they want in their life.
[00:12:07] Barry: So you think to yourself you really receive what you ask for and the universe just matches it. So there is no lucky and unlucky. There is no fairness and things not being fair. What there is aligned thoughts and unaligned thoughts. If your thoughts. Are aligned with curing cancer. If your thoughts are aligned with finding a great love interest in your life, man, if you’re align, if your thoughts are aligned with getting a great business off the ground, life will match those thoughts.
[00:12:34] Barry: And when it does all of a sudden you’re in a situation where you think. Holy crap. This is pretty cool. If this has worked for this, imagine if I have cancer one day, God forbid. But if that ever happens that I wonder if those same thoughts can cure that scenario. And the answer is, yes, your thoughts can manifest into anything.
[00:12:55] Barry: You just have to focus on that. Just to give you a quick example and sorry, I’m rambling, but it’s really important to get across. Go for it. I I had a talk in Sydney about a month ago. And there was 200 people in the room and we started talking about the science of how thoughts become things.
[00:13:10] Barry: It’s really exciting. And this random guy in the front row, Ryan he just stands up without any cue from me. I don’t know this guy. And and he holds up his book and I’m like, where is this going? A bit rude, and the book was all about beating cancer. He stood up and he said, these words, he said, I want you all to know.
[00:13:30] Barry: And I’m like, okay, that, what Barrys just said is a hundred percent accurate. And here’s my book to prove that I have beat stage four cancer with nutrition, exercise, and mindset. I’m letting you guys know that’s true. And he held his book up and he walked out of the room and I’m like, I don’t know what to do with that.
[00:13:50] Barry: Anyway, he was waiting for me after. And he goes, I wanna apologize for what I just did, but Naya said, anyway, we got to know each other a bit after that. We’re trying to collaborate on some things from in the health sector, but it’s really important that when you are aligned on a certain path, The right people, circumstances and situations will, and they’ll look like coincidences and they’ll look like you got lucky and they’ll look like, oh, Barry, you got a blessing that no one else.
[00:14:18] Barry: It’s not that it’s that you thought that something was possible. You going, this is real, man. This is actually I can earn that sort of money or I can beat cancer. This is actually a true thing. The subconscious mind will then say to. Okay. I’ll look for scenario, situations and circumstances to bring to you that prove that you are right.
[00:14:39] Barry: Yeah. And all of a sudden to other people that aren’t on that thought level, Ryan, you look like a miracle maker, but you’re not all you’ve done is you’ve aligned thoughts. And even in biblical times, man, like you look at Christ and you look at, the sayings and the scriptures that he was all about and, move the mountain is actually taken from a par.
[00:14:59] Barry: My new book. It’s if you have the faith of a mustard seed, you will set at that mountain move from here to there and it will move like that. Wasn’t just empty rhetoric. That was true. Like Christ was teaching this, right? Like you have God’s divinity within you man. And in that you’ve got creative potential because God created from nothing.
[00:15:19] Barry: And here we are spinning on a blue Pearl. So I’m letting, as a spark of God, as a little part of him, we have that ability to be able to create our own little lives with that same spark, which is our subconscious mind. And realizing that thoughts do become things. So when you start going down this road, life becomes a damn miracle because you are walking on sacred ground you’re.
[00:15:42] Barry: We are all walking on sacred ground, all of us, because we have this 70, 80, 90 years. If we’re lucky, That ends up, we can manifest and we can create, and we can. It’s so cool. It’s so cool to think about that in that wave. But
[00:15:56] Ryan: Many people, and I’m not saying all many people think we’re crazy.
[00:16:00] Ryan: Because, you know what I, it’s the simple fact of, they think it’s hokey Fiocchi or however you want to say it, let them let
[00:16:06] Barry: them. So to me, and I’m
[00:16:08] Ryan: good with that. It’s it’s yeah. I’m with you on that. But the thing that I wanted to tell you is everything you said I resonate with and it’s things that I believe, but the one thing that we can go down a rabbit hole on is yeah, negative thoughts are three times easier to have than a positive thought.
[00:16:24] Ryan: So why do you think. Why do you think people do it that way? It’s cuz it’s easy. It’s that way out. And it’s we, this, the internet in social media and everything in between and we’ve lost several generations. Yeah. You To just, oh, I don’t have to do anything. The government’s gonna pay for everything what’s gonna happen to those individuals.
[00:16:43] Barry: Yeah. Yeah. What’s interesting. Your spot on I wanna, you dig. Yeah no. And you’re right. And for the people that just quickly, I wanna touch on this for the people that believe that what we’re saying, or what I’m saying is hokey pokey. They haven’t looked at the science, so they’re either ignorant to it or they don’t want to.
[00:17:01] Barry: Or they haven’t,
[00:17:02] Ryan: or they haven’t tried it that’s the other thing is they haven’t tried it and stuck with it. That’s the thing. Yeah.
[00:17:08] Barry: True. And they haven’t. And when you look at the reasons behind that, and then you say to yourself why haven’t people expanded their thoughts on something new it’s, I’ll tell you the best example, the chairs that we’re sitting on and the screens that we’re talking on and this amazing channel that we’re speaking on right now, being able to talk across the world.
[00:17:27] Barry: Just in real time, right? Yes. That was once a fleeting thought in someone’s mind, I’m letting you know everything starts with that. Yeah. So someone said, oh, imagine if we could Australia and the us, I’m wondering if there could be this channel where we could actually speak and the internet was born and online and yeah.
[00:17:42] Barry: These things are normal now. So we believe them. But hang on. There was someone at some point who created the chair, you’re sitting on that looked at the house that you are actually sitting in and the screens that you’re talking on and the food that you’re eating and someone thought, I wonder how it could be done this way.
[00:17:55] Barry: If you can buy that’s true. Then why can’t the future that you want also be true up here first. And then in reality, second. So a lot of people that, and I get this all the time and I was hustling my whole life, Ryan, and I’m letting you know, I felt like I was chased. I was felt like I was treading water.
[00:18:13] Barry: A lot of the time I was hustling, I was working so hard that I wasn’t getting anywhere. And in the moment that I started focusing on the task in front of me and allowing, and that’s the word here, allowing the next person, allowing the universe to do its. And bringing you the right people based on your thoughts.
[00:18:33] Barry: And I’m not talking about sitting around here waiting and twiddling your thumbs. I’m talking about working towards what you want, and then looking like you got lucky to other people and it wasn’t luck is that you’ve allowed space for something else to enter . And for me that’s been like the pinnacle of the success that I’ve had.
[00:18:50] Barry: And with the second book, it’s life is a dance between making things happen and allowing them to take. It’s not just about making things happen and forcing things through every try and force love, try and force a flower to open you. Let me know how that goes for you. Try and force a flower to open like nature happens when it’s meant to happen.
[00:19:09] Barry: Your good scenarios happen at the time where you’re ready to receive those blessings. And I’ve always believed that. And it’s something that it’s a beautiful way to live because I don’t the right people come across my path. Because I’m in a situation of allowing I’m not necessarily chasing everything on LinkedIn and chasing everything on Facebook and chasing.
[00:19:28] Barry: It’s become a, oh, that’s interesting. I wanted a CRM. Oh, that’s interesting. This guy just sent me a Facebook message. Oh, okay. I’ll look into that. Oh, wow. This really suits what I’m, after all of a sudden you start to see a yin and yang scenario where you are working and in life is then working for you as well.
[00:19:46] Barry: If you’re not open to those conversations, that’s okay. But I’m gonna, seven years ago I wasn’t open to them either. And all of a sudden I just took a little leap of faith and a book came out of it. And then that book’s impacted hundreds of thousands of people around the world. So I’m it’s something that I’ve learned to adapt and know that I’m deserving of every success that comes my way.
[00:20:05] Barry: It’s not an ego thing. It’s just. I’m showing love and I’m showing that there’s potential inside us all. And that’s cool. I think that’s one of the best ways to live in existence.
[00:20:18] Ryan: And like I said earlier, not many people do that. And once you get there yeah. It, your life changes and yeah, I know I was in the rat race for 25 years and I was always chasing, my next promotion and adding more to my plate and working 90 hours a week.
[00:20:34] Ryan: Wow. All I learned was that corporate America don’t get me wrong. Corporate Amer being an entrepreneur is not for everyone. Let’s just, no, it’s not, I’ve had two failed businesses before this I’m on my third. And at some point I was like, if the third one doesn’t work, then you know what I’m done.
[00:20:50] Ryan: Yeah. But now the third one’s turned into a fourth and now a fifth and it’s wow. Okay. That’s cool. but corporate America didn’t teach me how to be a fisherman or a Fisher woman or a just fish in general. And so one of the, one of the major reasons why my first two businesses failed were, I didn’t know how to go out and feed myself.
[00:21:11] Ryan: And I say that loosely in, and I say that, tongue in cheek is every two weeks I was paid in my corporate job. I didn’t have to worry about the money coming. Now I had solid business plans, but this is where we can go. Even deeper is each of these businesses I was very good at, but I was at it for one reason, money and greed.
[00:21:34] Ryan: And that’s what it boiled down to is how many accounts could I turn over? How many accounts could I collect that type of. When that happened. I didn’t have a why I wasn’t doing for a why I wasn’t out there to help someone. I wasn’t out there to help, a group of people. It was just about me, instead of okay.
[00:21:51] Ryan: Do I have something that I’m passionate about that I can turn into some type of monetization? I never thought of it that way. And those two failed businesses really taught me that I needed to go back to the drawing board and figure out what my, why was in life. Go after it, but I had to first make sure it was monetizable.
[00:22:12] Ryan: And if it wasn’t, yeah. Then I had to go to something else. Yeah. And a lot of people struggle with that is they find their passion, but they can’t monetize it. So they give up and I’m like, no, you have other passions. You have to work at it. That’s the problem.
[00:22:26] Barry: Yeah, no you’re spot on. And that working at it brings into situations where you get new opportunities and new scenarios that come across your path, Ryan that you’re gonna get holy crap.
[00:22:36] Barry: This is really exciting now able to help these many people. And I think I keep coming back to helping people fulfillment in life, comes from being of value to other people. That’s how you, that’s, how you fuel your. Not just your bank account. I think, I don’t know about you, but I know a lot of wealthy people that don’t fuel their soul and I’m literally know that’s stuffed up success, man.
[00:22:57] Barry: That’s not success, and I know, and then they drive Bentley’s and they live in 10 million houses and their souls are empty and all they’ve done is looked at their bank account and they’ve tied their self worth to their bank account. So their worth in life is based on the money they’ve got in the.
[00:23:15] Barry: And I’m letting you know that there are so many rich people on the planet. I keep remembering Jim Carey’s quote, continually that comes to mind saying, I wish everyone on the planet could be rich to realize that’s not the answer. To a lot of our problems it’s about going within and making sure that your internal environment is sound like your family situation, your charitable situation, your personal health how you impact the community around you.
[00:23:39] Barry: Like those areas in your soul need to be filled. And yeah, man, wealth is a big part of that as well, but it’s not everything. And, we’re in a, we’re in a position I’m in a fortunate position as well, where, money is good, like we’re blessed in that respect, but I’m letting you know, if I just focus on that and I let my family break down and I let my health break down and I get some horrible disease because I’m only focused on that, on the money.
[00:24:02] Barry: I’m letting you know, that’s not. And the illusion that corporate Australia and corporate American, a lot of corporates have is that when they reach a certain income stream, that then they’ll be happy. And it’s a great podcast title. You’ve got chasing happiness because it I’m letting, it might give them temporary happiness.
[00:24:19] Barry: They might buy some really nice shoes and they might go on some really nice holidays, but I’m letting you know, eventually you come back to yourself at night when you’re sleeping and you gotta live with that person. Yep. It doesn’t matter what the external world brings you. So for me, it’s trying to bring in some sort of holistic success in life.
[00:24:37] Barry: And if that means that the person next to me has more money than me. Congratulations. I’m happy for you. It’s just not for me, I wanna get into a situation where I look after my family. Sure. And help people. Sure. Absolutely. But there’s a bigger reason to our existence than feeding our bank.
[00:24:52] Barry: So we’ve just gotta, if you’re in a situation where you need the money, go and work for the money and go and create something you wanna create and hustle. If that’s what you wanna do, if you’re in a situation where you wanna look for something else, then you can do that. You just gotta focus on what lights you up, what really brings you that sense of fulfillment.
[00:25:10] Barry: And I’ve got news for you that. That sense of fulfillment is the same for all of us. It’s not like we’re all wired very differently. We’re all very wired the same way, which is how can we help the person around us become more successful or become, or heal from cancer or whatever it is, how can we help them?
[00:25:25] Barry: How can we input into their existence? All of a sudden it ends up being this beautiful reciprocal relationship where they’re feeding you and you are feeding them. And God’s Ryan. I promise you, man, like that is a life lived with no regret. I promise you. Yeah,
[00:25:41] Ryan: go. No, go ahead. No. It’s you’re saying all the great things and I believe in all of those things, it just seems, and not a scene.
[00:25:49] Ryan: This is it. Cult culturally and societal norms are not that. And it we’ve, and maybe you can touch on it cuz I, I know I don’t have the answer. It’s like, why is it so hard to. Think that it’s bad. It’s horrible to be happy. That’s cuz let’s back up. I’m going down a whole tangent.
[00:26:09] Ryan: My brain is running. Of course we’re told here in the states and maybe it’s similar in Australia, we can talk about it is you have to work till you’re 65 and then you retire and then you get to enjoy life for a few years, then you die. Who wants to live like that? And obviously that’s what I, yeah.
[00:26:24] Ryan: yeah but here’s the. When you sit down, you talk to somebody, I’m sure you’ve had plenty of people say the same thing I have. I have you’re I’m like an ugly duckling or that zebra that is not, sticking out because God forbid I’m thinking differently. And it’s I’m not thinking anything radically different.
[00:26:41] Ryan: I’m just wanting to live my life. I want have experiences, not things.
[00:26:45] Barry: It’s interesting. In the new book that I’m writing, I look at two areas that go to the core of what we’ve just talked about. One of them is understanding habitual thoughts. So thoughts that are, that, that are, have come from habits, right?
[00:26:59] Barry: And you just keep thinking a certain way, and then you keep going down that road no more for just that being comfortable for you. It’s a habitual thought it becomes something that is from habit. And a lot of habitual thoughts don’t get scru. Because, they’re basically not evil thoughts.
[00:27:15] Barry: They’re just thoughts that go down the road of, things are comfortable. I’m okay. I’ve got a little bit of food, little bit of money. I’ve got, my life is somewhat comfortable. I’m not struggling. Like other people are struggling. I’m actually okay. And they are habitual thoughts. The other area that to consider.
[00:27:31] Barry: Is, there’s a lot of inherited thinking going on, essentially, meaning that the way your great grandparents thought, your grandparents, your parents that have passed the thinking practices down to you, biologically that are ingrained in you as a person. Your great grandparents could have been in a state of war.
[00:27:46] Barry: They’re all about fear and scarcity and making sure that, you can survive the. And then those fee based traits get passed down generationally as well. And I had to have this conversation with a family member the other day, I had to say, listen you’ve given me these great family, these great inherited thinking quotes, like you’ve said to me, Barry, you’d be honest with people.
[00:28:04] Barry: You bring value to people. You don’t lie to people. You earn an honest living and there’s all these great inherited traits that get passed down. But on that same plate, Ryan is fear and aggression and anger and frustration, and I’ve turned around and I’ve said, listen, I know you’ve got these things going on and you’ve passed them down to me, but I don’t want.
[00:28:24] Barry: I don’t want to eat that particular part of my plate because it’s not healthy for me in no offense. I’m gonna have my own frustrations in my own angry moments in my own. Whatever’s going on. I don’t need yours as well. So it’s really important that as we move forward in life, that we look at the habitual thoughts we’ve taken on as a society, as well as a person and the inherited thinking, thinking practices that we’ve absorbed.
[00:28:48] Barry: And those two areas combined, Ryan have. The human being that you see before you, like when you look in the mirror. And for me, it’s become a long journey of going what’s healthy here and what’s unhealthy here. And the funny thing with society is that society doesn’t have a mechanism to be able to reflect on itself.
[00:29:06] Barry: Like we think it does, but it really doesn’t because it not much change. This kind of work to your 65 and hopefully have a 401k, something to retire with, that’s 50 years ago. Talk like with 2022, man, you can go and create an internet business that could make your retirement and fund in two years.
[00:29:25] Barry: Like you can make that happen if that’s what you want to do. So you just have to be open to that thought. And just because your grandparents and your parents couldn’t make that happen, doesn’t mean you can’t. So it’s you gotta become the gatekeeper at your thoughts and you’ve gotta go.
[00:29:38] Barry: Okay. What thoughts are healthy? What thoughts are gonna align with the future that I want? I don’t really care what the world’s doing and I don’t really care what mindset the world’s in right now. I am. And I’m gonna create the future that I want. Cause I know I’ve got a spark in me. That’s unique to me, man.
[00:29:53] Barry: And I’m gonna make that come out in life. And all of a sudden you look like, as I said before, you look like a miracle worker because all these situations and circumstances come across your path. That you cannot fathom. Like you cannot predict every way a good thing can come across your path. Like you can’t Ryan like Ryan, you could get a phone call next week that could open everything up for you.
[00:30:15] Barry: And you are holy crap, Barry. I need a partner because this business is exploit, right? You don’t know when that phone call will come. You don’t know when the right person walks. You’re looking for a project manager, all of a sudden the right person walks in because you know what I think the right project manager is out there that understands me, understands my needs and understands that I need to scale another business.
[00:30:35] Barry: Yeah. I reckon they’re out there. I reckon. I wonder how the universe can bring this to me. I’m gonna advertise for him and I’m, I know what I’m looking for. And I reckon that right person will come across before you know it, this person walks in the door and you go, man, I feel like you’re a perfect fit.
[00:30:51] Barry: and then you go how did that person come across my path? Is there an unseen force that we’re working with here? And the answer is yes, it’s called your subconscious thought and that’s been given to us from up on high. So you think to yourself, there’s a much, listen, the best way to describe it is this, when you look at the ocean and you see the surface of the water, do you realize it under the surface, as an undercurrent, the undercurrent shifts the surface.
[00:31:15] Barry: Do we see the undercurrent? We can’t no, we look, we’re looking at the ocean, man. We’re looking at the FRA. I like, it’s a beautiful sunset. Oh, that’s a beautiful look at the way the waves are crashing in, but there’s an undercurrent that influences the tides of the world. Now, if you can buy that, that you cannot see the undercurrent, then you have to be able to possibly buy the notion that there are subconscious levels to life.
[00:31:37] Barry: That influence what we see with our. It continually happens. Now, most people have been looking at the surface for so long that’s all that exists for them. And that’s okay. Cuz they’re at a different part of the journey, but for the person that lives near the water or for the person that surfaces in that dam water, they know that they’re gonna be mindful of what’s going on underneath.
[00:32:00] Barry: So then they can catch that next wave. And I think that’s on life. It’s exactly transcends to life. There are your thoughts are the undercurrent and whatever your thoughts to doing will influence the surface of your life. So just make sure that undercurrent is going in a direction that you want it to go in.
[00:32:19] Barry: And that comes down to exercise mindset. Great podcast shows like this one books that you wanna write books that you wanna read your family holistic success that makes the surface and the undercurrent just so beautiful to be a part.
[00:32:34] Ryan: And it’s you touched on something a little bit earlier in that conversation is there’s some people that will live on that top surface of the Le of the ocean.
[00:32:43] Ryan: There’s some people that’ll live below. Yeah. I had a gentleman on about a month and a half ago, two months ago, and he described it as there’s two types of people in. Campers and climbers. I love that. And that’s identical to what you’re talking about. And he asked this question and it’s I had to sit there and think about it.
[00:33:02] Ryan: He said, Ryan, what’s gonna be more difficult for you to fix your comfortable life or your new life. And I really had to think about that. I’m like, wow, if I’m comfortable and my life breaks down, what do I do? Or do I take that comfortable life and say, forget. I’m done with you and I’m moving on to my new life.
[00:33:21] Ryan: And I thought about it and I’m like just me. I just if I’m comfortable, I’m doing the wrong things. I gotta get out of that. immediately said I wanna be a climber and I’ve always been a climber. I wanna keep it going. But then I translate that into conversations I have with other people in my industry.
[00:33:38] Ryan: And they’re comfortable. They’re very comfortable where they’re at. And by all means, God, bless you. Go for it. It’s your life. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. But the thing that I have a challenge with and I still work on it is if you’re gonna criticize me for being a climber or thinking differently, You gotta look at yourself in the mirror and say, Hey, are you truly happy with your life?
[00:33:58] Ryan: Are you tired? Or are you actually truly happy? That nine to five that you’re working and you get so excited for Friday and you’re so bummed out on Sundays for me. These are all days that end in Y and they’re all great days for me because I wake up on the other side of the green stuff and I get to go hustle it out and help people and people struggle with that.
[00:34:19] Ryan: And I’m like, okay, got it. God bless you. I’m okay.
[00:34:24] Barry: Exactly. And I don’t think you or me or anyone is in a position to tell anyone else what to do with their lives. All we do right is be in a situation where. We’re living a certain existence and these are truisms for us. So if they’re universal truisms, there could be truisms for the next person, if they’re ready.
[00:34:42] Barry: And what’s funny. Ryan, when I used to walk on stage. In front of a crowd. I, at the beginning of my personal development journey, I used to wanna change everyone. Like I was naive and I used to think everyone wants personal development who wouldn’t want this stuff. This is awesome. Like, why would you not wanna do it?
[00:35:01] Barry: And then you come to, I came to a realization about three or four years ago that my job is not to convince anyone to do anything. What I am about is if you can be an inspirational light, To others by way of how you live your life and the things that you’re attracting and the things you’re exiting and the things you’re entering and people look at people’s lives, right?
[00:35:23] Barry: Not from a comparison point of view, but just observing, just an observational, circumstance and then you’re up to, okay Barry’s done that. That’s interesting. And then I’m gonna ask Barry how we did that. And all of a sudden people start taking on scenarios that they can apply themselves.
[00:35:37] Barry: And now when I walk into a. And I mentally take a note of everyone that’s sitting down and I think to myself at 10, at the number 10 people make a life changing decision, it could be to leave a toxic partner. It could be to to start that business. It could be to, I don’t know, have a family or leave someone or whatever it is at 10 people make that decision.
[00:36:01] Barry: I could be speaking to a room of threes, fours, one. Sixes sevens nines. I don’t know. I have no idea where everyone’s at. But one thing I do know is that when I leave that room and this is not ego talking, this is Barry talking, right? When I leave that room, everyone goes up a number, the Sixers, go to sevens, the threes, go to fours, the zeros go to ones, the nines make decision.
[00:36:24] Barry: The eights go to nines. And isn’t that the point of life that everyone that comes into contact with you that they know just that little bit more, that something is possible that, yeah, man, like you can have that if you really want it, you can have it like it’s yours for the taking if you want it. But if you have a passing interest in it, it’s probably not gonna happen.
[00:36:48] Barry: Like it’s gonna be something you committed to. Yeah. Oh,
[00:36:50] Ryan: by far. I joke about it when we started our nonprofit last year, I said our slogan’s gonna be, we’ll be here when you’re ready. Because most of the people that come to us yeah. Are probably in that 1, 2, 3, maybe four range where they want nothing to do with change.
[00:37:06] Ryan: They don’t wanna be bankable that’s, they’re okay with their lives. And I was just like you, when I first started this journey with coach. I wanted to change everybody, but guess what all I can do is share the information. I can share what I’ve gone through. And if that resonates with somebody and they start doing something more or reaching out I’m here for ’em and that’s all I can do and telling Cory.
[00:37:27] Ryan: Yeah. Best thing. Yeah. It’s so rewarding too, because you’re. I was getting too emotionally involved in going down a rabbit hole or a black hole, whatever we wanna say. So was high. And it just doesn’t, it doesn’t work them. Nah, it doesn’t. Yeah. And it doesn’t serve you either. Cuz you’re like, oh my God, another person I lost and I’m thinking, okay, when a person calls, I joke about it within five minutes.
[00:37:50] Ryan: I know if they’re gonna wanna make change or not. And if they don’t, I’ll just say. Mr. Smith. I’m sorry, but I don’t think we’re the right place for you. And they’re gonna say why. And I said, because you’re not ready for change. You’re not ready to get out of the situation you’re in today. So I don’t wanna force you to do something you don’t wanna do. And then they typically will get a little defensive and then they’ll say I might, you might be right. Okay. When you’re ready, come back. We’ll talk. And we get more people coming back today with that than we did before. But great.
[00:38:19] Ryan: I am still amazed by the amount of people that are very apprehensive or scared of change or improving themselves and fearful of being happy. And it boggles my mind.
[00:38:35] Barry: Yeah. It’s interesting. Isn’t it? Cause a concept that we chase that we never arrive at that to me is the ho focus. If you think about it, like how can you put something out there that you want to attain that you just have out of reach, or it’s not so much it’s out of reach what it is I think at a deep rooted, psychological level, I think you feel undeserving of that success, like you want.
[00:39:03] Barry: I think so. I think it’s oh, what happens if I get it? And I can’t hang onto it, I can’t hold onto. That’s gonna be worse. I should not then not just not go for it. And I think that’s when people be coming, getting to the habit of asking for less and start sabotaging their own happiness, and then love to talk about the fact that they’ve never received it.
[00:39:24] Barry: So all of a sudden you attract people that also have never received it. And just like the smokers and the swimmers and everyone that hangs out together that loves what they do. they will catch up for a coffee and talk about how chasing happiness is an elusive construct. And no one really gets there when other people across the cafe are talking about.
[00:39:44] Barry: That they’re at a stage where they can’t believe their life, that they’ve actually achieved what they wanna achieve. And they’ve got that internal environment of happiness within them. Yeah, it’s just, I guess it comes down to, what do you believe to be true? Like that Einstein quote keeps coming up like is it a toxic or is it a friendly place?
[00:40:02] Barry: And yeah, it will become what you focus on. If you consistently watch the news and you consistently be afraid of what cover’s gonna do, if you consistently look at your family members that are struggling, I’m letting you know you can’t have a negative mindset and achieve positive results. So you’ve gotta balance it.
[00:40:20] Barry: It’s, you’re basically putting dirty fuel in your. How do you expect, how do you expect your engine to run smoothly when you’re consistently putting dirty fuel and how do you expect it to go the distance when you putting dirty?
[00:40:31] Ryan: I love that analogy. That’s a great analogy. So just, that’s
[00:40:35] Barry: a good clean, fuel put clean fuel in your car, like put, so look at your nutrition, look at your exercise and look at your mindset.
[00:40:42] Barry: Just those three areas. So nutrition,
[00:40:44] Ryan: yeah. Sorry. But you know what that means when you put clean fuel in your. it means you gotta work and work’s a four letter word to a lot of people. Yeah. And people don’t understand that. And we could go on and on about that because I know I’m with you, I’m with you on all that.
[00:40:58] Ryan: It’s the biggest people say, Hey, how do you get by? And I said, no, I don’t get by. I bust my butt. I’m not just getting by, but I said the one thing that you can beat 90% of other people on this face of the. Is persistency. If you’re persistent and consistent, you’re gonna win.
[00:41:17] Ryan: And those two things you get knocked down, you get back up, you get knocked down, you get back up. And I said, many times I’ve been knocked down. I have to go have a pity party about something that didn’t go my way or I screwed something up and it cost me money. I do have a pity party.
[00:41:33] Ryan: Don’t get me wrong. Everybody does I’m human. But guess what? I have to get back up and go. Otherwise the bills don’t get paid. People don’t get paid contractors don’t build houses. So guess what? I don’t have a choice, but the other piece of it is I don’t look at it as not having a choice. I look at it as I’m not gonna lose to that situation.
[00:41:50] Ryan: Perfect. Perfect. And that situation is not gonna define me. I’m gonna learn from it and grow. And when you start growing from those situations or events that happen in your. You take those and you say I’m never going back there, but it also motivates you , and I don’t know if I’ve told you this, but when I first started, I ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and we’re at a point again, in our business to scale to where I am nervous about it.
[00:42:18] Ryan: And I’m like, this is a lot of money and guess what? I’m willing to go back. And I’m, I probably will peanut butter and jelly sandwiches until we scale to the right size that I know we’ve got the extra. To go towards, like you said, I need a project manager and a bunch of other stuff. I’m willing to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but I’m not gonna make my family skim.
[00:42:36] Ryan: It’s me that skims. And that’s just my mindset and I’m willing to do it. I’ll still exercise. I’ll still take care of my mind. I eat organic peanut butter, organic peanut jelly. I’ll even put honey on it. I there’s ways to there’s ways to go after your passion. Yeah, effectively, but also live well below your means, because I don’t need the money.
[00:43:01] Ryan: I want the experiences. Yeah. Yeah. And I wanna be able to pass the, these things on to others. And so that’s a sacrifice that I make. So be it I’m people think I’m crazy and it’s I don’t understand why you think that’s crazy. And I ask them that and they’re like I’m not gonna live. I’m not gonna give up on my going out to dinner and eating or drinking my Starbucks.
[00:43:20] Ryan: That cost me $8 today and going out drinking. Guess. You wonder why you’re unhappy because you’re worried about things and not experiences. Yeah. And that’s where you’re at in life. And I said, that’s fine. You can do that. But I also get to live my life too.
[00:43:35] Barry: Yeah, absolutely. And you know what, Ryan, as you go down this path you might experience what I have, which is you don’t argue with falls.
[00:43:42] Barry: And I don’t mean that to sound derogatory or insulting to anyone, but you get to a level where if someone comes to me and they say two and two is five, I’ll agree with them. And I’ll move on. I won’t, I’m not the person anymore that sits there and spends my energy, taking out a pad and pencil and calculator and showing them why two and two equals four used to be.
[00:44:04] Barry: I’m not anymore because I’ve discovered that the energy that I use to explain that two and two is four could be spent in a much more productive, positive way than to sit down the course. So it’s I don’t I just send them a silent blessing and I wish them well. And I, it’s a sign of becoming a lot more mature-minded in.
[00:44:25] Barry: In the fact that you’ve gotta protect your energy, man. Like you’ve gotta protect what is most sacred to you, which is your thoughts and how you spend your energy. And if you’re gonna spend it arguing with people that, you, you might know better than them, but if you’re gonna sit down and try to educate them and not, they’re not ready for that education, I’m letting you know there are rabbit holes galore there. So for me, the people that come to me, even for coaching and the corporations, I’m. Let me know when you’re ready like what you said previously, let me know when you’re ready. I’m here for you. I’m not going to sit there and convince you I’m the right person.
[00:44:59] Barry: You can Google me. You can look up, and it’s not arrogance talking. It’s coming to a situation where it’s just who you are.
[00:45:06] Ryan: You
[00:45:06] Barry: know who you are, you commend, like the prices that I charge now is just astronomical and I’m like it’s not astronomical in a sense, but it’s, I know my worth. And I know the energy and the workload and the time that is meant for this to become a success.
[00:45:21] Barry: And I put a number on that. And if other people are cheaper than me or more value than me, I say, fantastic, go with them. But this is the quality of work. And these are the testimonials that I’ve got. And these are the people that can vouch for me. And if you are ready, if you are ready it’s like going to the shops and buying a quality garment versus buying a cheap garment.
[00:45:40] Barry: Like the quality garment you’ll have for years, but you go, but it’s a hundred dollars Barry, but hang on, that’s gonna last a hundred wash cycle. And it’s and it feels good. And it’s beautiful. It’s like you go for you realize if you can afford to you go for quality because going for cheap what do they call it?
[00:45:57] Barry: It’s a it’s a false based. Anyway, I’m not sure of the terminology, but it’s basically, it’s a false economy. It’s not something, oh, you’ve saved money. It’s not necessarily that it’s the fact that you’ve you think that you saving money today, by going with something cheaper is best for you, but I’m letting you know, quality is always more important than quantity.
[00:46:15] Barry: Like for me it’s coming to the realization, the work that I’ve done and the books that I’ve written and the clients that I’ve got know me for a certain. Certain level of quality of work. I am going to to honor that and the moment that I start bargaining self worth with a client, with a friend I’m gonna, you’re done.
[00:46:34] Barry: Yeah. Not just then I don’t believe in myself anymore. Yeah. I’m. Yes. Yeah. I’m I don’t wanna
[00:46:41] Ryan: go on for cheap seats. I’m all for it. I, it’s it’s everything in life and I think, and we will wrap this up cuz we’re running along. No, no worries. No, but what I think we learned our self worth out of consulting.
[00:46:54] Ryan: And when I say this is when I got out of corporate America, I consulted pretty regularly. Now it’s here and there, but I would negotiate my rates down. I wanted the business or whatever. And I learned in a very short period of time, I set myself up for failure. So those people never came back. So I had to sit down and think about that.
[00:47:13] Ryan: I’m like, why am I doing this? I’m worth more than what I’m charging so much, but now, so now when they come to me, it’s here’s what I charge. Here’s what I give you. Yeah. Here’s I have references, but. I got 25, almost 27 years, or sorry, 27 years of experience in this industry. It’s not like I’m just some Joe Schmo.
[00:47:36] Ryan: And it’s if you’re not, if you’re not willing, God bless you have a good day, go find somebody else. And that’s that. And it’s amazing how we play ourselves down that way.
[00:47:45] Barry: And it’s crazy. If you take that mindset, Ryan and put it into friendships and take that mindset and put it into like a life partner you know what you are worth, you’re gonna attract the right scenario that matches that alignment.
[00:47:55] Barry: And it translates to everything. So if you want a better quality of life overall, Know, you’re worth, man, like know that you are an amazing person with an amazing experience, with huge talent, with the hardworking ethic and yeah, you command this price and all of a sudden, this is what’s beautiful.
[00:48:11] Barry: This is what happens. Life matches that and says, oh yeah, got you. I’m gonna put you in touch with so and and then you get this phone call out of the blue. You go, how on earth did that happen? What’s interesting. I’ve just submitted a proposal to the American Australian chamber of commerce. In Sydney.
[00:48:28] Barry: And the CEO has just said, Barry said, this, what? You’re all about, blah, blah, blah. So I’ve just sent her an email last night and it’s interesting, a year ago, I never thought that I’d be doing that. And all of a sudden, we’ve reached out over LinkedIn and there’s been a bit of back and forth and it’s exciting.
[00:48:43] Barry: I’ve got another government contract in Sydney that’s coming through as well. And I never thought I’d be explaining leadership to government organizations, but when you start to think more of yourself, All of a sudden the scenarios match that worth. And this is what I need everyone to realize. It’s up your game inside yourself.
[00:49:01] Barry: Stand up inside yourself, if that’s possible and realize you are worth so much more than what you’re receiving. I don’t want you to go out there and have arrogance about how great you think you are. It’s not about that. It’s just walking with a sense of understanding that you’re a divine creation.
[00:49:16] Barry: That’s got a lot to give. And when. A truism inside you, belief inside a true belief inside you, then life matches that with the right people and circumstances. Anyway, that’s probably the best way I can describe it. That’s the best way that friends of mine and I that’s the experience that we’ve had. So I feel like it’s a universal law for us.
[00:49:36] Barry: It’s protect your peace and know your worth.
[00:49:39] Ryan: Amen. That’s a good way to wrap this up. Amen. Barry, you hit it right on the head. How can the listeners get a hold of you?
[00:49:47] Barry: Yeah. You can reach out over Instagram, just put Barry Nikau or BAU. N I C O L a O U over Instagram, all LinkedIn just type in my name over LinkedIn, but right now we’ve got the new book launching.
[00:50:01] Barry: So if you’ve go to bury Nicole out.com. I’m sure the spelling of that might be in your notes, Ryan, if there’s surname. Yes. We’ll, it’s clear every single show notes. Oh, great. And you’ll see the new book there. That’s launching in November, move the mountain. You can have a pre sign up to that as well, if you want to get an early copy.
[00:50:19] Barry: So yeah, it’s cool. So reach out anything you need, I’m here for you, and I wish you all the very, very best on your journey. It’s very exciting to be in this.
[00:50:27] Ryan: Thank you, sir, for coming on. It’s been a great conversation. It’s been very healthy and very enlightening. I love what you put out and it’s very great to hear somebody else speaking the same words I put out there.
[00:50:39] Barry: thank you. And thank you for having me. I really appreciate it. Thank you. You’re welcome.
[00:50:42] Ryan: Thank you, sir.
[00:50:43] Barry: Thank you, Ryan.